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Moose ‘Tird’ Arts and Crafts, the Problem with Calling ‘Ghosting’ Abuse and the Hilarious History of 1-900 Numbers

The best of MEL from the Week That Was

What Should I, an Average Guy Who Doesn’t Want His Dick to Shrink, Use to Cook Eggs Instead of a Non-Stick Pan?

In case you missed it, non-stick pans can shrink your dick. We don’t make this stuff up, I swear.

The Ungodly Allure of the Pastor’s Smokin’-Hot Wife

Christian leaders can't seem to stop talking about their red-hot-smokin' stone-cold-fox wife back home

Bartenders Are Sharing Your Shitty Yelp Review and Laughing at You

And we're not sorry.

The (Mostly) Unseen History of Margot Robbie, Aussie Soap Sensation

How Maine’s Queen of ‘Moose Tirds’ Became an Internet Sensation

Ranking Fish by How Healthy They Are

Why Lots of Partners Think Premature Ejaculation Is Sexy

The Real War on Christmas Is Pro Wrestling’s Corruption of Santa Claus

How to Win Over Your Partner’s Co-workers at Their Holiday Party

Mom and Dad Are Juuling Behind Junior’s Back

Don’t Let SantaCon Fuck Up Drinking on Trains for the Rest of Us

The Unreliable Psychology of the Spank Bank

Three Men on Their First Time Dropping Acid

Clean-Burning Poppers, Acne You Don’t Grow Out Of and Expensive Lunches

When That Ho, Ho, Ho Gives You Chlamydia — A Seasonal Guide to STDs

The Quest for ‘Farm-to-Disco’ Poppers

What It’s Like to Have Acne Well Into Manhood

When Exactly Did ‘Friends’ Become Cool?

Adult Peer Pressure Is Being Forced to Go Out to Eat

The Stigma of PTSD Is Keeping Veterans Unemployed

How NBA Players Are Keeping the Skinny Jean in Fashion

Why Ghosting ≠ Abuse, the Need for More Complimentary Men and the Folks Who Swear by Their Poop Tools

I Watched Every Episode of ‘Jeopardy!’ on Netflix, and Here’s How Much I Now Know

The Secret Poop Tool Lurking in the Family Bathroom

PSA to Parents: Please, for the Love of God, Get Your Kid the HPV Vaccine

How to Wing a Speech at Work Without Turning Everyone Against You

Fellas, It’s Not Gay to Compliment Other Men

Scientifically Speaking, What’s the Most Satisfying Fart?

Stop Saying ‘Ghosting’ Is Abuse

How a Generation of Hardcore Legends All Became Motivational Speakers

Tumblr Goes SFW, Christmas Boobs Go NSFW and Men Defend Their Love for Bootcut Jeans

How to Fuck Safely When You Have a Latex Allergy

California Barbers Are on the Front Lines in the Fight for Labor Equality

Meet the ‘Bootcut Bandits’ — The Dudes Who Proudly Rock Flared Jeans

Tumblr Just Nuked the Last Safe Space to Be Horny Online

How to Do Costco as a Single Person

Sexual Harassment at the Nursing Home

The Death of the Headband

The 30-Year Search for the U.K.’s Most Famous Missing Son

The Bizarre World of 1-900 Numbers, the Middle-Aged Men of Tinder and the Potential Energy of an Unblown Load

How to Be Street Smart: Step One, Ask the Internet (Or Perhaps Don’t)

Guys Over 40 Get Real About Life on Tinder

Is It True That the Longer You Wait, the Harder You Ejaculate?

Who Are the Regular People Surprising Their Partners With a New Car?

Video Game Heroes Were Pieces of Shit Until ‘Red Dead Redemption 2’

Why We’re Okay With Terrible Christmas Movies

The Internet Before the Internet: The Bizarre Heyday of the 1-900 Number

What’s in This?: Twinkies

The Male Pregnancy Fantasy, A Solution to Aquaman’s Pooping Problems and the Male Struggle With Writing Sex Scenes

What Do I, an Average Guy Who Wants to Cut the Cord, Need to Know About the 102 (and Counting!) Different Streaming Services Out There?

Christmas Movies That Aren’t Typically Considered Christmas Movies (But Should Be)

How the Godmother of YouTube Strippers Became a New-School Weed Influencer

Why Can’t We Just Let Aquaman Shit Like a Whale?

Why Male Authors Are So Bad at Writing Sex Scenes

Everything That Makes You ‘Not a Real Man,’ According to… ‘Real Men,’ We Guess?

My Attempt to Figure Out the Plot of ‘Love Actually’ Based on Your Tweets

The Gordon Gekko ‘Wall Street’ Haircut Is Back

Ranking Classic Sandwiches by How Healthy They Are

Three Men Who Named Their Dicks (and Why They Did It)

A Gentleman’s Guide to Being a Good Uncle or Godfather

Inside the Mpreg Scene: The Men Who Fantasize About Other Men Getting Them Pregnant

Why Male Weed Thots on Instagram Are MIA, Saying ‘I Do’ on Drugs and Mozart’s Love for All Things Scatological

The Strange Story of Andy Serkis’ ‘Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle’

These ‘Weekend Warriors’ Are… Adult Male Competitive Figure Skaters?

Everything That Will Leave Your Body Less Inflamed

The Pros and Cons of Being High as Balls at Your Own Wedding

How Not to Be the Asshole in Your Open-Plan Office

We Talked to Leading Mozart Scholars About the Composer’s Love of Ass Jokes

At the Gym With a Couple of ‘American Ninja Warriors’

Where Are the Male Weed Thots of Instagram?

Big Areolae Energy, the Men Doing It All for a Bubble Butt and the Expensive Lives of Twitter’s Retweet Slaves

Is It Actually Harder to Get Drunk on the Third Night of a Bender?

The ‘Retweet Slaves’ Who Worship Their Dommes on Twitter

You’re Probably Setting Goals for Yourself All Wrong

Meet the Badonka-Dudes — The Gym Bros Obsessed With Building Butt

The Men Who Swear by Tanning Beds

What’s the Stupidest Thing I’m Doing With My Money?

Big Areolae and the Men Who Love Them

The Bloodless Robot Uprising, Bacteria-Killing Beards and Why Amazon Thinks Your Dad Is Lame AF

SpongeBob SquarePants Is an Icon of Fluid Masculinity

Reddit’s Advice for Not Being the Creepy Person at a Party Is Spot-On

I Hate My Kid’s Best Friend. What Do I Do About It?

Nice Guys Actually Do Get Laid More — But There’s a Catch

Why Are Dad Gifts So Fucking Stupid?

Growing a Beard Might Help You Fight Sickness (and Allergies)

The Future of Robots Won’t Be Like ‘The Terminator’ — It’ll Probably Be Worse

Why Some Gay Men Still Ask Their Partner’s Mom and Dad for Permission to Propose

An Epic ‘Mortal Kombat’ Oral History, Sad Fuccbois and the Houseguests from Hell

The Absolute Worst Things a Houseguest Can Do

All Our Lives Would Be Better if We Became More Psychologically Androgynous

What ‘Having a Woman’s Back’ Means to Men All Across the Country

Are People Still Having Sex at Work? An Investigation

Why Fuccbois Get So Offended When You Call Them Fuccbois

‘Run, Hide, Fight’: The Active-Shooter Training Business Is Booming

What’s in This?: 5-Hour Energy Shots

Me!-Me!-Me! Men, the Sometimes-Illegal Art of ‘Manufacturing Spend’ and the Disappearance of ‘Hot Cousin Season’

The Fraught Negotiation of Determining How Much Time to Spend With Your Family Versus Your Partner’s

How Do I, An Average Guy Who Likes to Fake Being Sick Sometimes, Know Whether I Should Tell My Boss If I Have a Cold or the Flu?

Men on the Shopping Sprees That Made Them Feel Better