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How Much Shorter Will My Life Be Because I Did Drugs in My 20s?

Asking for a friend who’s extremely worried about his impending death…

‘Blast From the Past’ Is Now the Most Accidentally Prophetic ’90s Movie

Just ask the parents and young memers who adopted the Brendan Fraser flick as a quarantine classic

The Wild Ride of America’s Most Dangerous Theme Park

Throughout the 1980s and 1990s, Action Park — unofficially known as Class Action Park, Traction Park and Accident Park — was ‘Lord of the Flies’ with a Jersey twist and a higher death count

How We Got Stuck in the Ongoing Nightmare of Calling Pizza ’Za

We failed to stop COVID from spreading, but perhaps there’s still time to contain ’za before it truly gets out of control

The Eternal Parody of the Pottery Scene From ‘Ghost’

For 30 years, we’ve been spoofing that Oscar-winning romantic drama’s most famous sequence because we can’t get enough of its sincere, grownup, playful sexiness

Before I Was Adult Star Tasha Reign, I Was Rachel Swimmer From ‘Laguna Beach’

My town is known for creating wholesome reality stars, but I’m the only one who took to the Hills to become the princess of porn

The Sinister Origins of the Peanut Butter-Dog-Vagina Myth

That sexist schoolyard rumor is no joke. It’s based on a piece of folklore going back at least as far as the 1930s — and it’s been used to wrongly convict a woman of child abuse

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WhenPeopleSay‘RealAmericans,’WhoDoYouPicture?

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Recent

How Often Can I Eat Avocados?

They’re 66 percent fat — but that’s not what you’ll become if you eat them breakfast, lunch and dinner

A Gentleman’s Guide to Beaching It During Coronavirus

You can enjoy your summer sun ‘n’ fun without contributing to the pandemic if you do it right

13 Movies That Blur the Line Between Documentary and Fiction

The critically acclaimed ‘Bloody Nose, Empty Pockets’ is part of a fine tradition of hybrids that are part reality, part classic movie storytelling

Culture

How Do the Hulk’s Pants Always Remain Intact? Experts Explain

Other than the fact that Marvel seems to be made uncomfortable by giant green penises

How Ryan Phillippe’s Ass Made a Generation Queer

But the enduring queer legacy of ‘Cruel Intentions’ is about more than just those perfect cheeks

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Entertainment

A Salute to ‘Weekend at Bernie’s,’ the Stupidest Comedy You Secretly Love

How a motorcycle accident, a ghoulish premise and a 3 a.m. freak-out helped inspire a classic 1980s farce  —  and a bizarre dance craze

‘Bloody Nose, Empty Pockets’ Pours One Out for a Beloved Dive Bar

This innovative new film brilliantly blurs the line between fiction and documentary to show how strangers find community in getting smashed

Walter Mercado Was a Trailblazer Who Never Let Us See Behind the Mask

The gender-nonconforming Latinx astrologer decided at an early age to be his own fabulous creation. Netflix’s new documentary ‘Mucho Mucho Amor’ honors this beloved figure — but stays, disappointingly, on the surface

Protests

The Okra Project Is Feeding the Bodies and Spirits of the Black Trans Community

Talking to the Okra Project founder Ianne Fields Stewart about how support for Black trans lives can continue far beyond Pride month

‘I Love Black Dick’ Protest Signs Aren’t Going to Save Us

Black fetishizing for ‘justice’ is one of the louder heads of a sexually racist capitalist Hydra that plagues gay communities and beyond

Radical Catholic Boomers Are Rising Up

The Catholic Worker Movement and Plowshares belong to a long tradition of radical religious activism in the U.S. Now, in response to the protests spreading across the country, they’re reckoning with their complicity in racism and police violence

LGBTQ

Dating Apps Won’t Protect Trans Users — So They’re Doing It Themselves

But by self-policing abusers on Grindr and Scruff, they may be the ones violating the terms of service

‘A League of Their Own’ Is a Lesbian Independence Day

You can celebrate America — I’m still celebrating the gays

Tabloids Can’t Take Away What Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson Meant to Queer Women

As the biggest lesbian celebrity couple of the ’00s, Lohan-Ronson represented affirmation, joy and visibility for LGBTQ teens — even as the media undermined them at every turn

Health

Actually, Really Dry Hands Feel Good

Call it pandemic Stockholm Syndrome, but I’ve actually begun to enjoy the feeling of parched palms. Why?!

Why Do Women Wipe After They Pee but Men Don’t?

Just like the dribble of piss in your underwear, there isn’t a tidy explanation for the wiping gender gap

Can Your Smoker Lungs Really Regenerate Themselves?

Uh, you’re not a starfish, dude

Early Aughts

A Marxist Analysis of ‘Paul Blart: Mall Cop’

Kevin James’ everyman hero is just a tool for an inequitable system of labor and capital

The Sweet Catharsis of Emo Minimalism

Let’s just pretend that all that terrible, maximalist ’90s cover art was never meant

The Hills’ Series Finale Is a Meta Masterpiece That Will Never Be Matched

Sure, we all kind of knew ‘The Hills’ (and reality TV in general) was fake. But to have the ending of the show shout that out in such an overt way was genius.

🔥Scorching-Hot Summer Takes🔥

Ridley Scott’s ‘Gladiator’ Is Still a Terrible Movie

Relentless, baffling historical inaccuracies are the least of the Oscar winner’s many, many problems

We Should Be Putting Hot Dogs in Pitas

What’s crazy about replacing the tired old bun with a vessel in which every topping — no matter how much of it you pile on — can sit comfortably inside, with no obvious risk of overflow?

Actually, the Mesh in Men’s Bathing Suits Is Nice and Good

Unless you enjoy body surfing while your dick flaps around like a loose rudder, it’s your secret best friend and you should stop complaining about it

Relationships

Is It Cheating to Sneak Junk Food Behind Your Partner’s Back?

Who among us hasn’t secretly inhaled a Crunchwrap Supreme before coming home to a loved one?

Alan Dershowitz Is 2020’s Worst Wife Guy

The galaxy-brained lawyer has an alibi made for the meme circuit

The Toe-Curling Thrill of Sexting With Voice Notes

Safer than a nude, more intimate than a DM and less committed than a phone call, voice notes are impossibly sexy — they make pics and texts seem like G-rated child’s play

Latest on Coronavirus

The Best Way to Avoid Mask Acne Is to Clean Your Mask

Yes, you really are supposed to use a fresh mask *every* *single* *time* (or wash it *every* *single* *day*)

Pro Poker Players Are Gambling With Their Lives to Get Back to the Table

It’s hard to imagine a place in these coronavirus times that’s more high risk than a casino, but these pros are willing to put it all on the line for a hot streak

Does Being Tall Help With Social Distancing?

If I’m 6-feet tall, does that mean I’m actually like 36 feet from the much shorter person in front of me?

Money

Why Are Guitars So Freaking Expensive?

It might be hard to swallow, but the reality is that they’re probably cheaper than they should be

Why Airlines Could Tank the Value of Your Travel Points and Miles

If you’ve noticed flights are suddenly worth way more miles in the coronavirus pandemic, you’re not alone. Reward-travel inflation is real — and might just get worse from here

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Wellness

Five Lies You’ve Been Told About Boats

Are you screwed if you sail through the Bermuda Triangle? And is that *definitely* a nautical-themed pashmina Afghan? Let’s find out the truth.

Can Hangover-Prevention Products Actually Treat Hangover Anxiety?

Cheers Restore is designed to help in this regard, but next-day dread might have more to do with your behavior than the alcohol itself

What Happens If I Don’t Turn On Airplane Mode When Flying?

The airplane mode rule is a ‘better safe than sorry’ type of rule, but you should still follow it

Ultimate Summer Movie Guide

The Origin Story of Will Smith, King of Fourth of July

In the mid-1990s, the sitcom star and hip-hop lightweight was simply the Fresh Prince. But with ‘Independence Day,’ he remade himself as one of the all-time best summer action heroes.

Why Weren’t the Racist Robots in ‘Transformers 2’ Canceled by the End Credits?

With Skids and Mudflap, Michael Bay wanted to introduce some hip new Autobot characters that could appeal to kids. What he ended up with were offensive Black stereotypes as comic relief.

The Summer of 1993 Was the End of Arnold and the Dawn of CGI

Why are we still obsessed with a decades-old showdown between ‘Jurassic Park’ and ‘Last Action Hero’? Because the stakes were so high — and the winner helped shape the future of action movies.

Food

Why Thousand Island Dressing Has Replaced Ketchup as America’s Condiment

The endlessly versatile ketchup-mayo mash-up is the secret sauce (literally, in the case of several major burger chains) to improving just about any dish

Hot Dogs Are America’s Food, So Why Aren’t They a Fast-Food Staple?

America’s biggest fast-food chains just can’t seem to get hot dogs right — but they continue to try

Do You Really Need to Wait to Go in the Pool After Eating?

Turns out, binge and cannonball goes together like Netflix and chill

True Crime

How Did Police Get the Greg Kelley Sexual Assault Case So Wrong?

The sobering, enraging Showtime documentary ‘Outcry’ recounts the 2013 investigation of Kelley, a star Texas pro-football prospect who was convicted of molesting children — but never stopped insisting he was innocent

Rethinking the Legacy of Christopher Dorner, the Cop-Killing Cop

Dorner became infamous for a 2013 killing spree that ended in a fatal standoff. But seven years later, his message resonates louder than anyone could have expected.

‘I’ll Be Gone in the Dark’ Is a Touching Eulogy for Michelle McNamara, the Writer Obsessed With Finding the Golden State Killer

The true-crime author didn’t like making her stories about herself. But this HBO documentary series, based on her acclaimed book about the infamous serial killer and rapist, wouldn’t be nearly as cutting without her voice at its center.

Oral History

An Oral History of Hulk Hogan and ‘Real American’

From ‘most patriotic song ever’ to Hulkamania soundtrack to ironic punchline, the song continues to fight for what’s right/its life

An Oral History of Big Mouth Billy Bass

How the famous singing fish swam to the heights of fame, before being flushed down the drain of the pop culture commode

An Oral History of The Onion’s 9/11 Issue

Immediately after 9/11, humorists struggled with what many called ‘the death of irony.’ Then ‘The Onion’ returned and showed everyone the way