Andrew Fiouzi

Andrew Fiouzi is a staff writer at MEL.

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In the Near Future, Our Toilets Will Judge Us on the Quality of Our Poop

If you’ve ever taken a stomach-wrenching shit, stood up, examined said onyx-colored turd with your eyes and thought to yourself, “Well, that can’t be good,”…

Are My Precious Liquid Gel Pills More Effective Than Regular Old Normie Tablets?

Coincidentally, I’m writing this article with not one, not two but three Advil Liqui-Gels coursing through my body. I imagine that by now, the kryptonite-colored…

A Gentleman’s Guide to Giving and Receiving Criticism in Bed

No one likes to be criticized, and the last place you ever want to hear any kind of criticism is about how you bone. Because,…