11-29

Why Male Weed Thots on Instagram Are MIA, Saying ‘I Do’ on Drugs and Mozart’s Love for All Things Scatological

Call me crazy, but getting hitched on anything stronger than a stiff drink — like the ecstasy Kim Kardashian admitted this week to taking at her first wedding — sounds positively terrifying. I was my brother’s best man, and even standing up to give a toast bone sober is an experience I’d rather not relive.

LSD? I haven’t worked up the courage to drop some in the comfort of my own home, let alone in front of friends and family. Ecstasy would probably cause me to sweat through my clothes, and/or prompt me to confess my undying love to the officiant.

Thankfully, for those of you still on the fence about consumables on your big day, acid-fueled wedding aficionado Miles Klee has all the requisite do’s and dont’s.

Be safe out there.

Must Read

“Where Are the Male Weed Thots of Instagram?”
Since landmark rulings in states like Colorado, California, and now gloriously, Michigan, legal cannabis companies have been skirting Facebook’s ad policies against weed-vertising by using influencers to promote their products. Mostly, those influencers have been hot women — weed thots, as they’ve come to be known. In an industry so thoroughly dominated by men, however, you might think there’d be more male weed thots in your feed. Here’s why you’d be wrong. READ MORE

Some Guys Play Golf…

…and some guys get their ya-ya’s out figure skating. Trust us, they’re fully aware that they’ve picked up one of the, shall we say, less traditional weekend hobbies. C. Brian Smith visited with the Los Angeles Figure Skating Club (LAFSC) this week to find out what drives fiftysomething guys to pick up a pair of skates, and why a organization like LAFSC, which counts Olympians among it’s alumni, works so hard to welcome them into the sport.

Going Ninja

American Ninja Warrior is still a fringe “sport,” but that’s quickly changing. The show has a solid prime-time viewership and an ever-increasing number of aspiring contestants, rising from 1,000 applicants for the first season to nearly 80,000 for its ninth. And it’s no joke, as Oliver Lee Bateman found out — he went in the gym with a couple of ninjas to discuss training regimens, why the show appeals to so many people and the murky future of the sport.

Development Hell

Both Jungle Book adaptations were slated to come out in 2016. But that year, only the eponymous Disney version actually made it to theaters. So what happened to Andy Serkis’ darker, more violent Mowgli that, after being MIA for two years, is finally reaching audiences in December, and only on the small screen? Keith Phipps has thoughts.

Don’t Be That Office Guy

Open offices are actually crap for productivity, but their biggest drawback might be the fact that they unintentionally give less self-aware coworkers carte blanche to act a fool. Do 👏not 👏be 👏that guy 👏. Here’s how to know if you are annoying your fellow open-office employees to death, and what to do about it.

The Wedding Trip

Kim Kardashian isn’t the first person to be high as a kite at their own wedding. And, judging by these search results on Twitter, she’s not going to be the last, either:

Kardashian regrets her ecstasy-fueled nuptials; our own Miles Klee, on the other hand, does not regret his acid trip to the altar. So what’s the difference between a fun high and a bad high at your own wedding? Allow Mr. Klee to explain.

(In)flame Out

The terrible shit we ingest or do to ourselves that cause inflammation, i.e., the body’s healing response to treating damaged cells, irritants and pathogens, is quickly becoming public enemy No. 1 in the eyes of dietitians, immunologists and health nuts everywhere. Thankfully, there are plenty of ways to prevent ourselves from getting inflamed in the first place. Here are some of the simplest.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Ass Joke Connoisseur

For anyone who’s ever seen Amadeus, you know that the Milos Foreman masterpiece about the prodigious, yet ultimately tragic life and death of Mozart portrayed the late composer as a sexual deviant. But how do we know for sure? Easy: Homeboy loved telling scat jokes. Quinn Myers talked to leading Mozart scholars about the composer’s love of all things ass, and while you will laugh, keep in mind that it’s all much funnier in the original German.