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Why Pressing Your Junk Against a Jacuzzi Jet Is a Sexual Rite of Passage

This one goes out to my first love, a gentle but captivating jacuzzi jet

Five Lies You’ve Been Told About Boats

Are you screwed if you sail through the Bermuda Triangle? And is that *definitely* a nautical-themed pashmina Afghan? Let’s find out the truth.

Can Hangover-Prevention Products Actually Treat Hangover Anxiety?

Cheers Restore is designed to help in this regard, but next-day dread might have more to do with your behavior than the alcohol itself

How Ryan Phillippe’s Ass Made a Generation Queer

But the enduring queer legacy of ‘Cruel Intentions’ is about more than just those perfect cheeks

The Radical History of How Strap-ons Pegged the Patriarchy

The NBA’s New Practice Court Is Gonna Be Hell for Jumpers

Actually, Really Dry Hands Feel Good

How We Got Stuck in the Ongoing Nightmare of Calling Pizza ’Za

The Eternal Parody of the Pottery Scene From ‘Ghost’

We Can All Agree That Scrabble Is for Psychos

Before I Was Adult Star Tasha Reign, I Was Rachel Swimmer From ‘Laguna Beach’

James Gandolfini’s BFF SpongeBob Squarepants, Nostalgia Fapping and 2020’s Worst Wife Guy

The Sinister Origins of the Peanut Butter-Dog-Vagina Myth

Why Are Guitars So Freaking Expensive?

Why Do Women Wipe After They Pee but Men Don’t?

Am I More Likely to Be Attacked by a Shark While Swimming With My Dog?

The Guys Who Gather Online and Fap to Nostalgia

Why Airlines Could Tank the Value of Your Travel Points and Miles

26 Years After the O.J. Chase, the Ford Bronco Renaissance Is Here

How Our Obsession With Roofies Obscured the Truth About Date Rape

The Reason James Gandolfini Was So Tight With SpongeBob

Can Your Smoker Lungs Really Regenerate Themselves?

What Happens If I Don’t Turn On Airplane Mode When Flying?

A Salute to ‘Weekend at Bernie’s,’ the Stupidest Comedy You Secretly Love

The Grounding Method Is the Easiest Way to Talk Yourself Down

Is It Cheating to Sneak Junk Food Behind Your Partner’s Back?

‘Bloody Nose, Empty Pockets’ Pours One Out for a Beloved Dive Bar

Alan Dershowitz Is 2020’s Worst Wife Guy

The Toe-Curling Thrill of Sexting With Voice Notes

The Curious Origins of ‘High as Balls’

Zion Williamson Posterized Me in High School

Sexual Violence Is a Disturbingly Common Police Tactic

Walter Mercado Was a Trailblazer Who Never Let Us See Behind the Mask

A Marxist Analysis of ‘Paul Blart: Mall Cop’

Why Do I Fart as Soon as I Wake Up?

Why Is My Car’s Turn Signal Blinking Faster Than Usual?

Drown Me in Hibiscus Tea, the Drink of the Summer

Here’s Why Your Phone Isn’t Charging Properly

The Best Way to Avoid Mask Acne Is to Clean Your Mask

Hotter Than July: Movies Where the Sun Is the Enemy

Ridley Scott’s ‘Gladiator’ Is Still a Terrible Movie

Dating Apps Won’t Protect Trans Users — So They’re Doing It Themselves

The Sweet Catharsis of Emo Minimalism

The Lone Webmaster Keeping the Dream of Woodstock ’99 Alive

Is Masturbating Your Way Out of Depression the Ultimate Lifehack?

What Kind of Mole Is a Mole I Need to Worry About?

Why Thousand Island Dressing Has Replaced Ketchup as America’s Condiment

Dang, My Dog Looks Like a Stray Tumbleweed! How Do I Cut Its Hair?

In the Time-Loop Comedy ‘Palm Springs,’ the Characters Are Trapped With Themselves — Just Like the Rest of Us

The Hills’ Series Finale Is a Meta Masterpiece That Will Never Be Matched

Hot Dogs Are America’s Food, So Why Aren’t They a Fast-Food Staple?

The Best Movie Scores for When You Really Need to Get Some Work Done

Pro Poker Players Are Gambling With Their Lives to Get Back to the Table

Why Do My Glasses Always Seem to Have Smudged Lenses?

Here’s How to Prevent Bugs From Taking Over Your Home This Summer

Can I Smoke Weed Around My Dog?

Does Being Tall Help With Social Distancing?

Why Is In-Flight Wi-Fi So Freaking Expensive?

Here’s What You Need to Stay Cool This Summer Without A.C.

Fourths of July: The Also-Rans of the Independence Day Holiday Box Office

At Last, Someone Takes ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic Seriously

The Eternal Babyface of Matthew Broderick

Will a Melatonin Skin-Care Routine Allow Me to Tan Without Any of the Sun’s Nasty Side Effects?

The Stoners’ Guide to Looking and Smelling Less High

Five Lies You’ve Been Told About Beaches

Do You Really Need to Wait to Go in the Pool After Eating?

How Much Cooler Does a Koozie Really Keep My Drink?

How Shotgunning a Beer Works: An Extremely Scientific Explainer

14 Alternative National Anthems to Stream Instead of Francis Scott Key’s Bullshit

‘A League of Their Own’ Is a Lesbian Independence Day

Three Oil Rig Workers Fact-Check the Movie ‘Armageddon’

Ranking Popular Styles of Beer by How (Un)Healthy They Are

What Makes a Sausage a Sausage?

Five Lies You’ve Been Told About Fireworks

How to Pack a Cooler So Everything Stays Cold

Monumental Racism: The KKK Member Who Carved Mount Rushmore

‘The Old Guard’ Wages a Heroic Battle to Rethink the Superhero Movie

We Should Be Putting Hot Dogs in Pitas

How ‘The Simpsons’ Captured the True Spirit of Independence Day Without Jingoism or Flag-Waving

How the Kiddie Pool Became This Summer’s Must-Have Instagram Accessory

The Origin Story of Will Smith, King of Fourth of July

The Best 4th of July Songs That Would Ruin Your Party But Are Perfect For Day Drinking Alone

Ranking Lemonades by How (Un)Healthy They Are

12 Movies Where the Villains Are Inexplicably British

The Okra Project Is Feeding the Bodies and Spirits of the Black Trans Community

Is Renting a Lake House the Best Way to Have a Coronavirus-Free Vacation?

The Slippery Story of How Jell-O Wrestling Became America’s Sloppiest Pastime

Family Guy: Hirokazu Kore-eda Is the Master of the Domestic Drama

‘I Love Black Dick’ Protest Signs Aren’t Going to Save Us

The Revolt Against Cops Has Reignited a Five-Alarm Firefighter Fetish

‘Soy Face’ Is Real, and It’s Annoying — It Just Needs a Better Name

An Oral History of Hulk Hogan and ‘Real American’

Tabloids Can’t Take Away What Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson Meant to Queer Women

Amputee Wannabes, When Celebrity Stans Revolt and Nazi Big Chungus Memes

What Temperature Should the Water Be When I Fill My Ice Trays?

Inside the Creation of the Volcano Bong, the Peak of Weed Engineering

This Is Why Your Hand Sanitizer Smells Like Booze

How Much of My Hot Dog Is Composed of, Uhh, Lips and Buttholes?

Mr. Met Is Here to Tell You How to Wear Your Goddamn Mask

How Can Porn Be COVID-Safe?