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How to Plate Your Shitty Takeout Like a Michelin Chef

Science says that beautiful foods make for more delicious eating. Here’s a guide to making it happen at home — featuring Popeyes and Panda Express

Take Two: When Musicians Take a Second Crack at Their Own Songs

Dolly Parton is hardly the first artist who decided to tinker with her old material. In honor of ‘5 to 9,’ we look back at songs that were reinvented — and whether it made them better or worse

The Prehistoric Tales of a 50 Million-Year-Old Bug Penis

Meet the assassin bug. Then meet his astoundingly rare, beautifully preserved genitals. It’s a dick that can teach us a lot about nature (and ourselves)

Do Our Facial Features Say Anything About Our Sex Lives?

Psychoanalysis and animal biology might have something to say about it

What the Hell Should You Do With Your Partner at Home During COVID?

Are Pillow Cubes a Good Lay, or Just Marketing BS?

The Fake Strongmen of Instagram

Does Reading Help You Poop?

How White People Can Celebrate Black History Month Without Making It Weird

What ‘Intervention’ Taught America About Addiction

How the Oversized Pickup Truck Became the Ride of American Fascism

‘Hollyboob’ and the End of the Viral Stunt

Pour One Out for Tourism — With Your Virtual Argentine Sommelier

The Eternal Summer of the PacSun Guy

Is Microdosing Psychedelics the Secret to Sobriety?

Why Can’t We Stop Talking About Rasputin’s Giant Dick?

Texted Nudes to Mom by Mistake? You’re Not Alone

The Soft Science of Whiskey Dick

The Secretly Jacked World of Ballet Workouts

Um, Please Don’t Use Baking Soda for Skincare

Bad Press: There Is Such Thing as Too Much Garlic

How Chinos Finally Tore Apart at the Seams

Are We Living in a Simulation? The Director of ‘Room 237’ Decided to Find Out

The Sweet Sorrow of Dumping Your Dealer for Legal Weed

An Oral History of C-3PO’s Penis — The Infamous Star Wars ‘Error Card’

How Do I Wear Men’s Rings Without Looking Like a Try-Hard Douchebag?

Your Sperm Might Predict Whether Your Child Will Be Autistic

The Definitive Ranking of Nic Cage’s Craziest Performances — Including ‘Prisoners of the Ghostland’

Goodbye to the Gym. Hello to the Dumbbell Library.

Is Dog Shampoo Right for You?

The Man Who Woke Up as an 8-Year-Old Boy

Sorry, Fellas, You Can Thank Women for ‘Man’s Best Friend’

Are You Less Sexist Than Most Guys? You’d Be Surprised.

The Future of Nationalized Cocaine

Reddit Toppled Hedge Funds — Now It’s Time to Take Down Finance Bro Style

Fear of the Impossible GigaChad

Maybe It’s Sex Therapy. Or Maybe They Just Watched ‘Bridgerton.’

Should You Be Moisturizing Your Butthole?

Despite the Hype, These Supplements Won’t Help You Get It Up Again Any Faster

You Can Thank These Girthy Hogs for the Next Generation of Sleep Apnea Treatments

How Accurate Are ‘Headache Maps’?

Losing Your Temper Is Really a Symptom of Anxiety

The Great Disappearing Act of the ‘Most Downloaded Woman in the World’

Why Does My Cat Love My Cat-Hating Friend?

The Women Who Read ‘Bad’ Male Authors Are Sick of Your Stereotypes

The Horror of Drinking in Your Dreams as a Sober Person

With ‘Cry Me a River,’ Justin Timberlake Said Goodbye to Britney and His Boy-Band Image

The Best Way to Get Better in Bed? Read a Book

Why the ‘Penis Envy’ Mushroom Is So Aptly Named

What’s in This?: Seaweed Snacks

Three Bare-Naked Ladies Strip Down the Barenaked Ladies

Before Stanley Tucci Was the Internet’s Boyfriend, There Was ‘Big Night’

The Ultimate Taxonomy of Male Sex Sounds

The Problem With Quantifying ‘Big Dick’

Do Shrooms Make You Horny?

Five Lies You’ve Been Told About French Fries

I Disgraced My Sicilian Ancestors With Lady Gaga Oreos

What It’s Like to Date After Major Weight Loss

‘Damn Ya Ass Fat/What’s Ya Pronouns’ Is a Statement of Queer Joy

Celebs and Politicians Can’t Stop Stealing Athletic Valor

I Put a Penis Fish in My Mouth and You Should Too

Domino Effect Doesn’t Mean Everything Is Gamergate

Fry’s Dog: An Oral History of Futurama’s Best Episode and Most Heartbreaking Moment

Ralph Fiennes Was Having an Amazing ’90s. Then Came ‘The Avengers.’

Are COVID Ass Tests More Accurate Than Nose Swabs?

How to Run in 6 Inches of Snow Without Breaking a Leg

Survivalist TV Is Now Our Pandemic ASMR

Inside the Mind of a Person Who Hates Music

Simping for Hedge Funds Is a Sad New Low

Put Fast Food Workers in Charge of Vaccine Rollout

The Legend of Nugget After Dark, the Kids’-Furniture Sex Group for Moms

People Really Seem to Want to Know if Apple Juice Makes Your Penis Bigger

My Espresso Martini Is the Ultimate Dumb-Bitch Cocktail

With Mormon Tea, the Ephedrine Scene Chases a More Natural Buzz

How to Clean Your Wallet

Sorry, Millennials, MGMT Is Now Dad Rock

The People Using ‘Leftism’ to Mask Shitty Behavior

Right-Wing Crowdfunding Is Fascism’s New ATM

The Downfall of OneTaste, Silicon Valley’s Favorite Orgasm Cult

Everything You Never Wanted to Know About the ‘Sigma Male’

The Long, Strange Saga of the Female Urinal

The Balldo Is a ‘Booyah’ Fantasy Come to Life as a Sex Toy

How to Come Down From the Coffee Jitters

Your Brain Is No Match for Tiredness Because Sleep Existed Before Brains

Travis Barker Is Drumming Up Pop-Punk’s Gen Z Revival

The Cringey Business of Saying ‘I Love You’ During Sex

Why Are Marvel Heroes Such a Meme for Bankrobbers?

The Psychology of Squeezing Toothpaste From the Middle

GameStop and the Future of Financial Shitposting

In ‘Redneck Foreign-Food Reviews,’ a Rural TikToker Falls in Love With the World

When Did Steak Knives Become Such a Racket?

It’s Therapy — But With Your Mom, Your Wife and Your Boss

Why Your Penis Is a Different Color Than the Rest of Your Body

Your Love of Horror Movies Probably Upped Your Pandemic Coping Skills

Analyzing the Heat Capacity of Bernie’s Mittens

How Bath Mats Got So Dirty

The Disappearance of Daddy Trump and Hope for a Shadow President

What Happened to All Those ’90s Skate Shoe Brands?

Did Judy Garland Mainstream the Under-the-Table Blow Job?

The 40-Year Odyssey of the Pimple Patch