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Three Bare-Naked Ladies Strip Down the Barenaked Ladies

The lyrics of ‘One Week’ have never been examined so closely before

It’s been over 20 years since the days when my fellow busmates and I were jamming out to “One Week” as it crackled over the school bus radio, yet I still have no idea what that song was supposed to be about. Was the guy breaking up with his girlfriend? Was he just channel surfing? What the hell is “Chickity China, the Chinese chicken?” And why is he talking about X-Files and samurai and Snickers and all this other random shit? Just tell me, what the fuck is happening in that song!?

In the years since, other mysteries about the Barenaked Ladies have been solved, like finding out just recently that they were the ones behind The Big Bang Theory theme song, and to my teenage disappointment some years ago, I discovered that they were neither ladies nor naked. Instead, they were three fully-clothed Canadian dudes who probably shopped at Old Navy.

Still, the mystery of “One Week” eludes me, so rather than listen to the song on repeat for the next week and give myself a permanent migraine, I’ve decided to enlist some help, and who better to analyze the Barenaked Ladies than three actual ladies who are known for their lack of clothing?

On the Barenaked Ladies

Tasha Reign, adult star and MEL contributor: Oh yeah! I love “One Week” — that was my jam back then!

NB, founder and star of Naked Bakers: Honestly, before this, I hadn’t heard or thought about the Barenaked Ladies in quite a while.

Stacey Lee Osorio, founder of Inward Survival and survivalist on Discovery Channel’s Naked and Afraid: I remember going to a few parties in my late teens and early 20s when they first came out and turning it up really loud. Also, anything about Shrek I love. That was toward the end of my punk rock era, so anything mainstream I would put my nose up at, but on occasion, I was forced to listen to the Barenaked Ladies and they rocked. I really liked All Star, that was my favorite. 

Oh shit, wait, was that Smash Mouth? Which ones were the Barenaked Ladies?

On What They’d Do with a Million Dollars

Reign: I’d take life a little bit slower and relax.

NB: I’d create my own platform.

Osorio: I would take some disadvantaged children out of the country and teach them how to spearfish in Trinidad.

On If ‘It’s All Been Done’

Reign: No, I don’t believe it’s all been done. I believe there are still new and exciting things to look forward to every single day, even in the pandemic. Every morning I try to meditate, and I try to find joy in things that seem mundane. It sounds cheesy, but I enjoy the way the light hits my yard and the balcony and lights up where I live in the mountains. I also think there are new and exciting ways to share content and media. There’s always something new.

NB: Of course it hasn’t all been done! With Naked Bakers, for example, I just always had a dream of having a cooking show, but my thought was always, “It’s already been done,” but, add a little twist and it’s something new!

Osorio: No idea is an original idea, I do believe that, but I think we’re also really stifled, so I think there is still lots of pioneering and exploring to do.

On The Big Bang Theory 

Osorio: Oh hell yeah! Sheldon’s my favorite!

NB: I never really got into that show.

Reign: I’ve watched The Big Bang Theory in passing and I just don’t think I’m the market for it, but a “big bang” does sound delightful.

On What the Hell ‘One Week’ is Even About

Reign: I’m thinking it’s about a man tracking the time and interactions in his relationship with his woman.

NB: It definitely feels like a song about relationships and how crazy they can be.

Osorio: Was it about a one-night stand? I think so. That fits. It’s kind of like, “We were study partners in college, we had sex while we were studying and now you won’t look at me.”

Have you ever tried ‘Chickity China, the Chinese chicken?’

Osorio: No, I have not.

NB: I have no idea what that is.

Reign: I’m a vegetarian.

Have you ever ‘watched X-Files with no lights on’?

NB: Yeah, that’s probably why I’m afraid of scary things.

Osorio: Oh yeah! I was a huge fan of The X-Files. I used to watch it with my dad, and he got me into a lot of conspiracy stuff and X-Files started it all.

Reign: I’ve never watched X-Files.

Do Snickers satisfy you?

Reign: Yes, they do.

Osorio: Absolutely, Snickers do satisfy me. After all, I’ve been starving in Africa.

NB: I’m more of a Butterfinger kind of girl.

Do you have any feelings about Samurai?

Reign: They seem very masculine.

NB: They look sharp.

Osorio: I do believe in honor killings.

Have you ever ‘watched Sailor Moon and thought the wrong thing?’

NB: No. Definitely not.

Osorio: Absolutely, who wouldn’t with the pigtails and the short skirts and the knee-high socks?

Reign: Hell yeah! That’s the most normal thing out of everything you just said!

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