Is it true that a simple change in position can make you orgasm harder than ever before? What about kegel exercises for men — can they help you ejaculate harder than ever? Or edging: Should you build up that orgasm for hours, teasing yourself through a slow, super-long arousal period before you blow? Should you start experimenting with prostate play? Do you need to see a masturbation coach to help you have sex like a champ? Or should you just wait a while between orgasms? (After all, there’s only one reliable way to make your loads bigger.) Finally, are any of the sex tips you read on Reddit actually helpful?
Basically, there’s a ton of info, rumors, urban legends and internet tips out there about sex, masturbation, penis health, ejaculation and better male orgasms out there. What’s real and what’s, well, just a load of spaff? Let’s dive in.
For all the masturbating men do, the orgasm can feel awfully rote. Sometimes we feel like emotionless cum machines, genetically predisposed to ejaculate and ejaculate again until we die, never being able to differentiate between one orgasm and the next. So how to turn up the heat and give our dicks the most memorable climax yet?
I reached out to some experts specializing in sex and orgasms — including two sexologists and a neurologist who studies the mid-climax brain — to find out.
What the Science Says About More Intense Orgasms
“You might hate the answer, but an orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm,” says Nicole Prause, neuroscientist and founder of Liberos, a biotechnology company specifically studying and measuring the human orgasm. According to Prause, any and all available research on orgasm up to this point says there is no way to feel a “stronger” climax.
“They are reflexive, so they’re not thought to vary much in terms of physiology,” she says, referring to the physicality of orgasms — i.e., the number of contractions and intensity of contractions.
“Further, there is no evidence that kegel exercises actually improve orgasms, and this seems unlikely given the nature of the physiology,” Prause continues, striking a dagger into an empire of sexual content online. “Similarly, the ‘hour-long’ orgasm, or similar extended orgasm experiences, have never been documented,” she adds, twisting the knife.
Prause says there is “simply no funding for basic sex research like that,” so as of right now, there is no lab-studied, peer-reviewed scientific proof of being able to control the intensity of orgasms.
But that doesn’t mean the door is shut on blasting a load so hard your neighbors call the cops.
Or as Prause puts it: “People certainly report feeling that orgasms are very different, however, and that is worth exploring.”
According to Prause, there are two questionnaires to assess more qualitative aspects of the orgasm experience. “This could mean that there is some neural state that feels like a climax, but does not co-occur with pelvic contractions that we have not yet discovered. Alternatively, different experiences of orgasm may reflect the emotional context, such as feeling emotionally close to the partner or having taken a long time to experience climax during that sexual session.”
In other words, people often report changes in orgasm sensations based on the context around them — so while it hasn’t been tested in a lab, changing the context of the sexual experience could alter the veracity of one’s orgasm.
“My vote is on the latter,” Prause tells MEL. But, being a scientist, she advises caution before dripping hot wax on your chest while alternating between edging and meditating. “The brain experience may differ in some modest ways,” she theorizes. “The brain has to generate the orgasm, and that process in the brain must occur, but it is likely the subjective part of the orgasm would be influenced by other activity (e.g., emotional) in the brain.”
In other words: Physically, orgasms are the same. Emotionally, context can change what you “feel” during an orgasm, which might subtly tweak how you might experience climax.
Better Male Orgasms: Ejaculation vs. Orgasm
Carol Queen, an author and sexologist, champions the idea that “regular” people of any gender “can experience a stronger-than-usual (or stronger than they’ve had so far) orgasm.”
Queen says there are “various elements that can be involved and definitely some ‘orgasm hack’ techniques [that] will put this experience a bit more in someone’s control.”
Steve McGough, an associate professor of clinical sexuality at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, admits that the “actual neuroscience is still in its infancy,” but “the current best understanding is that an orgasm tends to happen in three regions of our body… not just the contraction of the prostate.” An orgasm, McGough argues, can be “triggered in most men completely independent from the mental side.
“In fact, erection and ejaculation can be induced in men who are paralyzed and can’t feel their genitals,” McGough adds, pointing to a study in Denmark that studied disabled veterans who wanted to have children.
It’s worth keeping in mind that ejaculation and orgasm are two separate things. McGough is arguing that ejaculation is but the endpoint of what an orgasm can be. “[Ejaculation] feels good and relieves sexual pressure,” but “it is just one very small aspect of what can be experienced.”
“Frequently guys don’t really think about having different types of orgasms, or they see orgasm and ejaculation as one experience,” McGough explains. “But is a wider range of experiences possible? Yes, if you take the time to explore things.”
Why Arousal Matters When It Comes to Masturbation and Sex
First, pay attention to your level of arousal. In short, the more aroused you are, the “stronger” your orgasm will feel. So if you’ve turned masturbating into a daily post-lunch routine in the office bathroom, now’s the time to stop that.
“If a person gets way more turned on than usual, the orgasm, if they have one, is going to benefit from that,” Queen tells MEL. “This example is not especially sexy, but think of the way a sneeze builds up. You can feel a sneeze coming on; sneeze right away and it’s not that explosive. But if you don’t sneeze immediately and the build-up to it continues, it can be a really big one. Orgasm is something like that, and arousal is the mental build-up and the physical status that makes sex play desired in the first place. And to get to high arousal … sometimes elements of extra kink or special circumstances — like trying to stay quiet while someone else is in the room, a new partner, etc. — are helpful.”
An easy way to achieve higher arousal is to simply hold off on orgasming. McGough compares it to drinking a glass of ice water when you’re thirsty. The thirstier you are, the better the water will taste.
“Orgasm and its related pleasure are similar,” he says. “If you are horny to the point it’s all you think about — and just trying to release sexual pressure as quickly as possible — orgasm and ejaculation is the route for this.”
However, if you really want to amp up the pleasure pressure and reach that mystical better male orgasm, McGough and Queen advise really drawing things out during the act itself.
Kegels, Edging and Long-Lasting Arousal for Better Orgasms
Queen refers to “long-lasting arousal,” which is “what the people who are into edging play with: They are building up arousal over periods of time, recognizing imminent ejaculation or orgasm, and backing off so that arousal can continue to build.”
She continues: “This charges up the body, basically. Like that sneeze, you are not immediately discharging the energy, but rather letting the arousal grow, and this will power the orgasm when it eventually happens.
“With high arousal and orgasm, our musculature is engaged, generally like when people arch their back, or clutch their sheets, or their toes curl,” she explains. “But trying not to do that probably allows us to take in the sensation and lets it last longer and go higher, so this strategy is in service to the higher and longer arousal tactics.”
Meanwhile, McGough hones in on the edging aspect. “When you can have continued sexual and sensual stimulation without quickly ejaculating, something almost magical can happen,” he explains.
A big part of edging is having strong kegel muscles, so you can properly attempt to “hold back” your orgasm. When you finally break, your strong-as-hell kegel muscles will make your orgasm feel stronger. Think Sammy Sosa blasting a home run after loading up on steroids for the first time. God, that must’ve felt amazing.
“The pulsing sensation that comes with orgasm and helps power ejaculation is due to the kegel (or pubococcygeal) muscles,” Queen says. “Strengthening these can make an orgasm feel more powerful.”
What About Sensate Focus and Mental Control?
Beyond strengthening the muscles themselves, McGough says, you’re also strengthening your “mental control over that area, [which will] benefit you in preventing ejaculation during sex or masturbation.” By focusing on your genitals and the pleasure therein, the thinking goes, your brain will “experience” a stronger orgasm.
And if you really want to put in the work, McGough recommends entering a near meditative state outlined by sexual health researchers William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson called “sensate focus.” While this was mainly to help women achieve orgasm, McGough says it also works on “helping guys take their experience to a new level.”
McGough continues to explain that one could even enter the mental state of “flow” during orgasm. And while “flow” is normally associated with world-class athletes and musicians, there’s no reason why you couldn’t enter this state of hyperfocus as you finesse your way through intrusive popup ads on YouPorn while straddling the bathtub ledge and aiming for the drain.
For Great Sex, Get to Know Your Erogenous Zones
To continue the body and mind themes inherent in arguments for a stronger orgasm, both Queen and McGough detail the necessity of a “blended orgasm.”
That is, “basically adding extra physical stimulation to the mix,” says Queen. “Not just stimulating one erogenous zone, but more than one. For our purposes, that could be penile stroking or oral as the basic stimulation, plus prostate stimulation, or plus nipple play, or plus kissing, or… so many options!”
According to Queen, this isn’t just for people who need an extra push toward climaxing. It “can help boost arousal even if a person has no issue with climax.”
Furthermore, Queen argues this isn’t just about piling on the stimulation, but rather a “more complex” way of stimulation. “Because different nerve pathways carry extra stimulation to the brain,” she says, different toys, porn, and context — like Prause mentioned earlier — can “add to arousal and hence to the power of the orgasm.”
However, Prause again urges caution, reminding us that an orgasm is a physical reflex. And because of this, she says, “it is unlikely that the orgasm ‘power’ or similar would be altered due to being initiated by new or multiple areas of sexual stimulation.”
So if the the orgasm itself will always remain the same, the least you can do is attempt to reach new heights in arousal before you bust.
Stimulating areas like the ears, nipples and neck “will have a powerful effect” in doing just that, McGough says, pointing to a study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine that found nipple stimulation enhanced the sexual arousal in 51.7 percent of the men tested.
So let’s say you’re able to hold off on orgasming for a few days. When you finally do, change it up: Tickle your neck and ears with a feather, enter a near-meditative state, and edge two or three times before your quick bedtime shower turns into a suspiciously lengthy one. You very well could be in for one hell of an orgasm.