Why, Exactly, Was Captain America Commanded to Wank?

One would imagine that Cap was backed up after 70 years on ice

Why the Ancient Egyptians (Maybe) Masturbated Into the Nile

Some historians believe the ancient Egyptians held a whole festival about jerking off into their most famous body of water, and maybe we should do the same

Is Bored Masturbation a Good Use of Masturbation?

Lots of people are coping with boredom by jacking off, but maybe — just maybe — that horny energy could be better spent elsewhere

The Case for Masturbating Before Thanksgiving Dinner

According to some, it makes you hungrier! It might make you less of a drag to be around, too