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Reddit’s Quest for the Perfect Fap Drug

Most redditors agree that it’s mephedrone, a substance that’s like cocaine and ecstasy for your dick. Not surprisingly, though, it’s not so great for the rest of your body.

In one of the deeper, darker corners of Reddit, there are whispers of a drug so carnal that anyone audacious enough to inject it will instantly cum their pants. “It turns you into a total slut,” says redditor ElectricalJigalo, who enjoys it as a masturbation aid. “The next day, your ass will be in pain.” But he swears that the consequent discomfort is well worth hours and hours of euphoric, drug-fueled anal cramming and cock strocking: “It easily transports you to extreme levels of horniness, where it’s all pleasure, plus more pleasure.”

The drug in question is called mephedrone, also known as 4-MCC. Part of the larger family of “bath salts,” it’s a lab-made cathinone, a group of chemicals that are similar in effect to amphetamines and which cause feelings of euphoria and alertness. 

Commonly described as a combination of cocaine and ecstasy, mephedrone was popularized in 2004 by an Israeli chemist named Dr. Zee, who toyed around with cathinones until he landed on 4-MCC. The result was an inexpensive, “clean” high that he decided should be available to everyone. At the time, this was hunky dory — mephedrone and other cathinones were legal in Israel because locals chewed on khat, a leafy green plant that has stimulating effects due to its cathinone content.

Shortly thereafter, mass production in China and media hysteria popularized mephedrone, and party seekers everywhere started snorting it, swallowing it and even injecting it straight into their veins. Quickly, mephedrone became cherished in the chemsex world, and has since acquired online acclaim for its unique ability to produce the ultimate fap experience.

Naturally, mephedrone can be used for partnered sex as well as masturbation. “I’d have people come over and do inappropriate things to me with my housemates just in the other room,” ElectricalJigalo says. But easy access to porn combined with the recent pandemic has caused a major uptick in meat beating, so there’s been a huge demand for better ways to do it. For guys chasing the ultimate masturbatory high, mephedrone provides a simple solution.

This, of course, is nothing new. People have been searching for ways to supplement their self-stimulation since forever, but thanks to communities like Reddit — where the horniest, most drug-fueled members of society can easily put their minds together — a more calculated quest for the greatest chemically-enhanced wank ever has been raging. Scattered across the site, there are posts like “My Friend Wants to Know the Best Drug to Take for a Sensational Fapping Experience,” “Fap Enhancement — Best Combo” and “Best Masturbation on Drugs.”

Other stimulants like speed, A-PHP and meth are popular suggestions for extending the duration of a sesh. Dick hardeners like Cialis and sildenafil are beloved for negating the shaft-softening effects of stimulants. And libido enhancers and euphoric depressants, like weed, clonazolam, phenibut, MDMA, poppers, melanotan II, PT-141 and GHB or GBL are adored for making cranking feel better and helping to “spray the ceiling.”

But everyone always comes back to mephedrone, because apparently, it’s just that good. “It makes you obsessed with porn, sex, sexual thoughts and being as kinky and no-limits sexually as you can possibly be,” says redditor -Psychopathic, who claims to have done just about every drug at least 1,000 times and deems mephedrone to be the perfect fap supporter. “One time, my girlfriend went away for the weekend, so I got a couple grams of mephedrone and a massive dildo, and I fapped for 48 hours straight. When I came down, I couldn’t move from dehydration, my dick was raw from the friction and every time I farted, I’d shit myself.”

“You can honestly have hour-long sessions that go by in an instant,” ElectricalJigalo adds. He says it does have one downside, though: “You’ll have trouble sleeping afterward, which is unpleasant.”

That’s not the only downside to mephedrone, though. While it was especially popular throughout the 2000s, a series of mephedrone-related deaths (and again, a lot of media hysteria) prompted many countries, including the U.S., to ban the substance altogether. While dying from mephedrone alone is relatively uncommon (most deaths involving mephedrone are the result of mixing drugs), regular use can wreck your memory, and studies of Irish injection users show gruesome consequences to their veins.

Another potential disadvantage is how addictive mephedrone can be. “The feeling of fapping while high on it is so overwhelmingly powerful and euphoric compared to everything else in life,” -Psychopathic says. “I even dumped my last girlfriend because of mephedrone, as sex with her, a non-user, was about as exciting as sex with my dead granny would be.”

Once more, though, the vast majority of people who use mephedrone live to tell the tale, and you can always test yours for purity if you’re worried. Still, because it’s illegal, -Psychopathic says you typically have to “buy it on the DarkNet from a reputable dealer.” That’s actually a good thing — it means you should be able to see reviews for their product.

Moreover, these drawbacks are nothing compared to problems associated with other popular fap drugs. -Psychopathic says meth can be “amazing, but it keeps you awake too long” (and can make you see shadow people, which isn’t ideal when wanking). Coke is only good if you love “playing with your soft dick.” Ritalin and speed offer the chance for an “epic, 24-hour wank fest” but leave you paranoid. And GHB? Well, too much, and you die. “The juice is simply not worth the squeeze,” he says.

Unfortunately, it’s impossible to nail down the exact dosage at which mephedrone can result in an overdose. Hospitalizations have happened at doses between 0.1 and 7 grams, and the common dosage is between half a gram and a gram per night, so it really depends on the person. But as far as studies are concerned, mephedrone is safer than a lot of the other drugs mentioned in those fappy Reddit threads.

All in all, -Psychopathic says, “Mephedrone is to tequila what the other drugs I have mentioned are to beer.”

That said, mephedrone is still illegal and potentially dangerous. So, if you’re in need of a legal, au naturel way of improving your meat-beating, have you considered gooning or mindgasms?

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