Sunday Reads: The Persistence of ‘Why So Serious?,’ How to Have a Midlife Crisis and What It’s Like to Work at Walmart During ‘Stimulusgeddon’

I’m sure that 9 out of 10 emails you’ve received in the last six weeks have begun with something like, “I hope you and your family are staying safe and healthy in this unprecedented time.” 

So, yeah, I’m not going to start this like that. 

Instead, all I have to offer you today is this clip of Alex Jones talking about eating his neighbor’s ass: 

Coincidentally, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what would make a human taste the best. I think they’d probably be vegan, but not too skinny. They’d probably also have to live somewhere with pristine air quality, and only drink well water. I do not think Alex Jones would taste very good. 

Must Read

How ‘Why So Serious?’ Became This Century’s Best Summer Movie Tagline — and Then a Punchline

Other Long(ish) Reads

As the Economy Freefalls and Mental Health Spirals, Both Rehabs and Addicts Try to Hold On

Your Midlife Crisis Doesn’t Have to Be an Embarrassing Disaster

At Walmart, ‘Stimulusgeddon’ Brings More Coronavirus Risk — With Little Benefit Trickling Down From the Top

Domestic Workers’ Only Hope Is Submitting to Big Tech

Quarantine Culture

I Took Up L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti on His Offer of a Free Coronavirus Test

Help! I’m Falling for My Online Quarantine Crush

What Lockdown Silence Is Doing to My Voice

The People Throwing Caution to the Wind and Booking Cruises for 2020

Why Are Office Chairs So Freakin’ Expensive?

How to Be the Hottest Member of Your Zoom Party

The Best DIY Zoom Setup, According to Beauty Influencers

Cook Drunk

Mastering the Art of Drunk Cooking

And In Case That Doesn’t Work…

Ranking Your Takeout Options by How Healthy They Are

Put It in Ink

Three Guys and a Girl Explain Their ‘Mom’ Tattoos

For Your Reconsideration 

How ‘Osmosis Jones’ Ended Up Teaching a Generation of Children About Germs

Jude Law Was Destined for Superstardom. Then Chris Rock’s Oscars Monologue Happened.

I’m Taking Six Months to Rewatch ‘Heat,’ the Holy Grail of Guy Movies

10 Cinematic Bad Guys We May (Possibly) Owe an Apology To

Six Baseball Historians on Everything Wrong With John Goodman’s Shitty Babe Ruth Movie

Drink Up

Beyond Bacardi and Diet Coke: Spirit and Soda Combos That Are Actually Halfway Decent

But Don’t Just Take Our Word For It…