I’m sure that 9 out of 10 emails you’ve received in the last six weeks have begun with something like, “I hope you and your family are staying safe and healthy in this unprecedented time.”
So, yeah, I’m not going to start this like that.
Instead, all I have to offer you today is this clip of Alex Jones talking about eating his neighbor’s ass:
ALEX JONES WILL EAT YOUR ASS pic.twitter.com/e75kfYVsyB
— ᏔმƦ?ჳ? (@mooncult) May 1, 2020
Coincidentally, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what would make a human taste the best. I think they’d probably be vegan, but not too skinny. They’d probably also have to live somewhere with pristine air quality, and only drink well water. I do not think Alex Jones would taste very good.
does alex jones read mel magazine, is that what happened
— Tyler Coates (@tylercoates) May 1, 2020
Must Read
How ‘Why So Serious?’ Became This Century’s Best Summer Movie Tagline — and Then a Punchline
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Your Midlife Crisis Doesn’t Have to Be an Embarrassing Disaster
Quarantine Culture
I Took Up L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti on His Offer of a Free Coronavirus Test
The People Throwing Caution to the Wind and Booking Cruises for 2020
How to Be the Hottest Member of Your Zoom Party
Cook Drunk
And In Case That Doesn’t Work…
Put It in Ink
For Your Reconsideration
How ‘Osmosis Jones’ Ended Up Teaching a Generation of Children About Germs
Jude Law Was Destined for Superstardom. Then Chris Rock’s Oscars Monologue Happened.
I’m Taking Six Months to Rewatch ‘Heat,’ the Holy Grail of Guy Movies
Six Baseball Historians on Everything Wrong With John Goodman’s Shitty Babe Ruth Movie
Drink Up
Beyond Bacardi and Diet Coke: Spirit and Soda Combos That Are Actually Halfway Decent
But Don’t Just Take Our Word For It…
Someone’s you see a @WeAreMel URL and you’re not sure what you’re going to get but it’s always a great story https://t.co/aZaZK092CO pic.twitter.com/9oGqQPkqZ9
— Taylor Lorenz (@TaylorLorenz) April 28, 2020
This @MilesKlee unemployment piece is on point. “Our institutions were built to deny aid when the economy is strong. Why would they perform when it’s crashing?” https://t.co/mxyfjhxXH7
— Socially Distant Scott Russell (@pscottrussell) May 1, 2020
Literally every classic rock song I know I thought was a glee original
Generation Gleek WILL be heard.https://t.co/W2JQRqPBWk
— sam (@samvantheman) April 30, 2020
Magdalene Taylor
Magdalene Taylor is a staff writer at MEL. She covers internet culture, sex and the online adult industry. She lives in Brooklyn but is from God's Country, Western Massachusetts.
