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This Week in Dudes

From sad Olympians to a Snoop Dogg dinner party

Who’s your favorite Olympian? Simone Biles? Katie Ledecky? Michael Phelps? Can I suggest someone perhaps slightly overlooked — despite his every attempt? That’s right, 2012’s Golden Boy, swimmer Ryan Lochte. He’s on whom E! bestowed a reality show, What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, which aired for an insane eight episodes. I urge you to consider him, the silver-turned-green-haired Olympian, who is doing solid work in and out of the pool. Not enough for you? How about this amazing yet dark soundbite he gave to NBC:

“My career would definitely be different,” Lochte said when asked if he’s grateful for Phelps being around at the same time. “I guess you would say I’d be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn’t there.”

Did he just say… Yes, he just did say that:

Again? How about this time, as a brutal graphic from the fine people at Business Insider:

God bless you for this, Business Insider.

Now that I’ve given you the perfect Olympian underdog, we can move onto whatever else dudes did this week (aside from swim back and forth in a giant pool).

A guy named Steve tried to climb Trump Tower with suction cups:

Understandably, he was quite slow.

Sadly, he didn’t make it that far.

Sorry Steve.

Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart will be throwing dinner parties together, on TV of course, the obvious question being, “How many pieces of this Apricot-Pistachio Biscotti can I eat before I get super fucked up?” Speaking of substances that might make you feel slightly more comfortable to even dare to approach the Queen of Hospitality, did you know that “high sex is better than drunk sex”? It’s true because science says so:

Research assistants did in-depth interviews following a semi-structured interview, with lots of questions focusing on the differences between marijuana and alcohol-related sexual experiences. Respondents talked lots about how alcohol increased confidence and dropped inhibitions, while marijuana increased sensitivity and spacing out. In the sexual experiences themselves, alcohol lead to desensitization and marijuana lead to increased sensation.

Nice. So having sex while stoned is good, but are you having enough of it? And what do you say after the deed is done?

Can we suggest Jeah?