Now that Thanksgiving is over, it’s time to get your shit together for the rest of the holidays — and by “shit,” I mean “shopping.” Thankfully, there are still a few days left in November and… Oh, fuck, wait, it’s actually already December 1st. The good news is that, and apologies to Black Friday and Cyber Monday, but the best shopping day hasn’t yet passed us by. In fact, the smoothest sailing at the mall will occur on either December 11th or December 18th, both of which are Wednesdays. So kudos: You’ve still got another two(ish) weeks or so to neglect buying things for your friends and family.
Must Read
The Week in Features
High-Profile Men Can’t Seem to Stop Defending the Sexual Abuse of Children
What Do We Call Boomers Who Are Just as Screwed as Millennials?
How the Black Cop Trope Sold the Fantasy of Post-Racial America
Everything Else That Was Right And Good
An Ode to the Outlet Mall, America’s Fading Monument to Frugal Fashion
What Porn Stars Really Think of the Fans Who Tweet at Them All Day
In Case You’re Not Black Friday-ed Out
What’s the Actual Best, Non-Black Friday Day to Go Gift-Shopping?
Something To Keep In Mind Before You Order All Your Gifts Online
Real People Money Diaries: Making Ends Meet as a Seasonal Delivery Driver
The Advice You Didn’t Know You Needed
Your New Boyfriend
Your New Girlfriend
And Finally, A Word About Uranus
Magdalene Taylor
Magdalene Taylor is a junior staff writer at MEL, where she began working two weeks after graduating college. Her work is a blend of cultural analysis and service, covering everything from reconsiderations of low-brow hits like Joe Dirt and Nickelback to contemporary disability issues, OnlyFans and the types of minor questions about life like why baby carrots are so wet. She’s also reported on social media phenomena like “simps” and “pawgs.” In 2018, she published her 111-page undergraduate thesis on Insane Clown Posse, the Juggalo subculture and the subversive aesthetics of class. She is from God’s Country, rural Western Massachusetts.
