SundayReads_Retired

Sunday Reads: Embracing ‘Horny on Main,’ the Fight Against Retirement Depression and the Basketball Player Who Is Paid to Be A Loser

For all the perverts out there, I’ve got some good news: It’s okay to be horny on main now. I thought being publicly horny in the digital sphere was all but dead after Tumblr killed off its NSFW content, but surprisingly, it’s just getting started. Miles Klee argues that, because our “private” data is about as “private” as Alex Rodriguez’ bathroom, there’s really no point in using Incognito Mode

So hit that “share” button on Pornhub — who cares! 

The End of the Retirement Blues

If you’re past retirement age, it can often feel like you’re forgotten by society. And it can feel particularly harsh when you were once considered an “important” person with a full schedule and swamped inbox. No surprise, then, that retirees as a demographic are plagued by high depression and suicide rates. Some seniors, however, are fighting back — together.

Le Wrong Generation

Complaints about being born in the wrong era come up a lot online, often in the context of decrying modern culture and yearning for bygone days. For some people, though, these complaints transcend into true belief, a so-called condition termed “generational dysphoria.” But for these time-travelers, is believing they were meant to be born during the Belle Époque a true ”condition,” or just a way to humblebrag about how cool and different they are?

Student Loans Are Ruining Monogamy 

For many years, when couples fought over money, it was because of credit card debt or compulsive shopping. But more recently, stress over student loans has become a leading cause of marital strife, responsible for 13 percent of divorces. And there are a few common scenarios as to why it happens.

Vagina Monologues

If your wife or girlfriend’s vagina could talk, what would it say about your relationship? If you’re not right for her, the answer is, a lot, because it turns out our bodies often send out distress signals when the person we’re with is a bad match. Only in her case, these signals happen to go straight to her pleasure parts.

O Captain, My Captain

As the starting point guard on a team (the Washington Generals) whose sole existence is to lose to the Harlem Globetrotters, Ryan Gunderson was paid to be equal parts buzzkill, patsy and clown. But behind the scenes, it was a different story. Though he was an undersized cast-off who couldn’t even catch on with a second-rate European team, Gunderson eventually found his place as the Generals’ HBIC — even in the face of perpetual humiliation.

There Will Be Blood… To Clean Up

69 is the ‘Nicest’ Number, Yes it Is

Here’s a thing you definitely, totally should try: Go on the internet and post something about the number 69, and see how many “nice” comments you get. Sure, it’s a thoroughly juvenile bit. But that’s the whole point: Its simplicity and lack of pretension is what unites people around it. To be in on the joke, one need only commit to the task of pointing out the funny sex number whenever it comes up. Yet when you really think about 69ing, how “nice” is it, really?

The Men of Harvey Weinstein 

As dozens of women have now come forward with their accusations against Harvey Weinstein, the film industry at large has reckoned with the role it played in protecting and permitting his behavior. In addition to telling their stories, Ursula Macfarlane’s new documentary, Untouchable, also explores the experiences of the men who worked for him. Tim Grierson spoke to Macfarlane about these men and their complicity as well as her film more largely, which premiered on Hulu last weekend.

China’s Anti-Protest Rappers

Despite a storied history of musicians supporting protests through song, many of China’s most popular rappers are turning to the mic to dis the ongoing demonstrations in Hong Kong. Sure, there’s nationalistic pride at work, but it’s also a bit of horse-trading. That is, the more favor they curry with the regime, the more the regime allows them to rap about what they want.

Some MEL Deep Tracks

Inspired, naturally, by recent events…

 

 

 

 

The Week in Crypto

When thinking about investing in alternative currencies, there are two camps: Past and future. The guys living in the past think gold is the best bet, while the forward-thinkers are betting on cryptocurrency to give them more bang for their buck (or in their case, coin). But will any of it matter when the economy inevitably collapses again? Also, speaking of the past, here’s what happened to some of the guys who invested their life savings into Bitcoin

CLIF Bar vs. Pop-Tart 

Food is a goddamn racket. It’s all marketing. CLIF Bars might seem healthy and stuff, but unless you’re hiking the Appalachian Trail — or want to know what arsenic can do to your body — you really don’t have much business eating one. Besides, it’s got a ton of sugar in it. More so, in fact, than even a Pop-Tart. That said, Pop-Tarts have a bunch of terrible shit in them, too.

End-of-Summer Spritz

ALERT, ALERT, there’s a White Claw shortage! Don’t worry, though — Joe Longo went to a bunch of bars in Brooklyn and asked bartenders how to recreate the effervescent sensation at home. For example, behold the Brooklyn Heights Wine Bar & Kitchen’s version (aka “Social Media Influencer”):

  • ¼ oz. Giffard Pamplemousse Liqueur
  • 1 oz. well vodka
  • Top off with club soda

Click here for more delicious White Claw knock-off recipes.

But Don’t Just Take Our Word For It…