adolescence

The Art of Beating Off in Your Childhood Home During the Holidays

I didn’t learn how to properly jerk off until I was a freshman in high school. That’s because, when I was 12, I was playing…

The Quick, Painful and ‘Totally Not Gay’ Cultural History of Sack Whacking

I spent the first day of spring semester freshman year of high school icing my testicles in the infirmary. A nut-punching game called “smacking fire”…

Why We Can’t Let Go of the Rite of Passage That Is the ‘Beat Rag’

Some people count sheep to fall asleep. When I was 13, I counted cum stains. I’d recently borrowed my father’s Sharper Image massager to nurse a…

How Did You Learn to Masturbate?

“When my worries oppress my body, with my left hand, I release my pent-up fluids.” —Ancient graffiti in Pompeii Most men’s sex education begins in self-imposed…