Sipping Pee and Tripping Balls, Herpes in Space and What She’s Looking for When She Goes Through Your Phone

Going through someone’s phone with or without their permission is just wrong. It’s like if a cop showed up at your door and demanded to look around your place: You wouldn’t just let that them inside, would you?

Sure, that’s not exactly the same thing as letting your significant other do it — but it’s a slippery slope, and once you’ve opened Pandora’s Box you’ll never be able to go back.

Must Read

“These Guys Drink Their Own Pee After Tripping on Shrooms”
Yeaaaah. Like the first man to let fruit juice sit around for a while and turn into wine, it’s only natural that a psychonaut would stumble into discovering that some magic mushrooms work better after passing through an animal’s digestive system. So they ate some shrooms, drank their own pee and tried to trip balls all over again. Now, through the power of the internet, that “hack” is a popular one on r/Drugs. But does it actually work? Quinn Myers pressed a scientist who specializes in psychedelics for answers. READ MORE

Speaking of Shrooms

Which mushrooms are really good for us, which are pretty good for us and which will, frankly, help us speak to our dead ancestors? Ian Lecklitner asked a dietitian to rank mushrooms by healthiness, and sadly, psilocybin came in dead-spanking last — but only because they’ve mainly been studied for their psychological effects, not their nutritional benefits.

I’m Watching You…

Want to know the best way to up your productivity? It’s not Bose Quiet Comfort 35 headphones, although I do highly recommend them. It’s not listening to “Old Town Road” on repeat until it’s a mantra, either. No, the best way to boost productivity is to get someone to watch you work all day. That shit will scare you straight.

Herpes in Spaaaaace

It’s Saturday evening, y’all — let’s talk about herpes in space. Here’s some good news: You’re not in space, and you’re probably not going to space any time soon. Now here’s some bad news: Odds are you have herpes even without having ever gone into space, based upon the fact that anywhere from 70 to 95 percent of all humans under 50 years of age have some form of the virus. Here’s some good news again: That herpes you probably have, it’s likely dormant, meaning you’re not showing any symptoms. And, finally — just to keep things equal — here’s some more bad news: If you did go into space, expect your herpes to go from dormant to very-much-not dormant, real quick.

Sup, Broheim

Much like “titty,” “tittay” or “tiddy,” there are quite a number of variations of one of humankind’s favorite fraternal abbrevs, “bro.” There’s “brah.” There’s also “bruh,” “brev” and “breh.” They all mean the same thing, and yet, they’re all used in different contexts. Allow Andrew Fiouzi to explain, bruv.

Lock it Up

Breaking into someone’s phone — whether you’ve been provided the code or not — is a major violation of privacy. And yet, in a lot of relationships, it’s the norm. Guys do it; women do it, too. Not to single out the latter, but this being a men’s site, Tracy Moore was happy to describe in deleted-photos-clicking detail what she’s really looking for when she goes through yours.

These Guys Don’t Need to Worry About That, Though

Wanna know the best way to keep her prying eyes out of your phone’s secret photo stash? Do what these three guys are doing and don’t own a smartphone in the first place.

Good News, EDM Lovers and Mosquito Haters

Please check the boxes below that most accurately describe you.

Do you:

1. Hate mosquitos? Yes ? / No ?
2. Love EDM? Yes ? / No ?
3. Care about the environment? Yes ? / No ?

If you checked “Yes” to all three, congratulations! New research has found that a massively popular Skrillex song works as an effective mosquito repellent. You know what they say: Let the beat drop, watch the skeeters pop!

Pink: No Longer Just for Finance Bros

Fellas: Pink is back, and no longer just for white aspiring millionaires. Miles Klee explains why it’s high time regular guys add a little fuschia adjacent to their drab blue, black and tan wardrobes, because it can’t just be Cam’ron having all the fun.

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Jeff Gross

Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.