4-16-19

Late Night’s Political Comedy Problem, Men and Their Meat Smokers and the Massive Crapfest That Is ‘Hellboy’

I am 100 percent here for Miles Klee’s scathingly smart takedown of late-night talk shows’ depressing brand of political humor. Personally, I’d argue that late night has always been bad, considering its format is as boring as it is cliché, and the celebrity interviews are contrived af.

Just don’t fuck with my main man Andy Cohen and Watch What Happens Live! Andy, if you’re reading this, I implore you, please let me bartend one night, and if not, I’d settle for a chance to do a shotski. To prove my bona fides, I’ll even give you my Housewives tagline:

I’ll be your best friend, but if you talk behind my back, I’ll just as happily be your worst nightmare.

Let’s do this thing.

Must Read

“How ‘Liberal’ Late-Night Talk Shows Became a Comedy Sinkhole”
Something is rotten in Denmark — and by “something” we mean the state of comedy, and by “Denmark” we mean Late Night TV, where writers have spent the last few years leaning far too heavily on the same smug, classist superiority masking as liberal humor that Jon Stewart invented it in the early aughts. Miles Klee argues that, in the era of Trump, this tired political hackery has become less funny, more cringeworthy and all but ruined Late Night, especially in comparison to the scabrously funny, unbroadcastable shit people tweet about the president 24/7. READ MORE

Puff-Puff-Pass the Ribs

In honor of 4/20 — everyone’s favorite stoner holiday — it’s Smoke Week here at MEL. Which means we’re committed to exploring all things hazy and carcinogenic (not just weed!), and not even a fire at Notre Dame is going to stop us. First up: The dudes who are so in love with their barbecue smokers they’d probably rescue their Big Green Egg from a fire before their wedding photos.

Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em

Not sure about you, but before I first smoked weed, I smoked a cigarette. And before I smoked a cigarette I smoked… other stuff. Aimée Lutkin knows exactly what I’m talking about, mainly because her list of tobacco and weed alternatives is even longer and stranger than mine.

Burning Down the House

Oh sure, ancient Vikings thought they were soooo cool sending their deceased kin out to sea on a boat and then firing an arrow and lighting said boat on fire. REAL BAD ASS. Not as bad ass, however, as how rural Kansas farmers are sending their neighbors’ farmhouses into the afterlife.

A Film Critic On… ‘Hellboy’

On ‘Hellboy’ producers completely ignoring the ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ maxim: “Guillermo del Toro didn’t make the new Hellboy, and it shows. If his movies were lovingly funky, this new one is black-metal stupid.”

On ‘edge’: “It’s a Hot Topic self-parody for audiences who probably don’t even remember Hot Topic.”

On bad trips: “The new Hellboy is what happens when a black-light poster smokes bad weed while cranking Mötley Crüe’s ‘Kickstart My Heart.’”

On trying too hard: “It’s loud and idiotic and really, really desperate to be nasty and gnarly and bloody.”

On ‘Hellboy’ refusing to learn anything from the ‘Batman & Robin’ nipple-suit: “Whereas the 2000s Hellboy had a chiseled, smooth chest, the new one (played by David Harbour) is hairy.”

On what happens when a bunch of Hollywood suits try to make art for their fellow kids:Hellboy is a nightmare vision of what some people think is badass.”

On the final word: “I just feel awful for everyone involved.”

Read more of Tim Grierson’s review of Hellboy here — including a treatise on whether Hellboy is a Capricorn; an investigation into one of the movie’s musical missteps; and some well-deserved appreciation for one of Hellboy’s only bright spots, actress Sasha Lane.

Think of the Children?

You might think that eschewing divorce from your spouse to stay together for the kids is the right move for their long-term well-being, but that isn’t always the case. We asked a family counselor, a divorce lawyer, a guy whose parents waited until he was in high school to split up and others about what the benefits are, what the drawbacks are and how to make the best of a co-living situation if you do decide to stick it out. Here’s what they had to say.

The Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness is nice — but when it’s viewed as constant pleasure and fulfillment, it can be an unrealistic standard to live by. And for many people vying to pull themselves out of depression or other mental health struggles, the pursuit of happiness at the expense of all other states of well-being often invites failure by setting the bar at an impossible height.

The Makers of the Peloton Bike HATE This One Weird Trick

The Peloton bike is, possibly, the biggest thing in home exercise at the moment, and thanks to its nearly $2,000 price tag and $39 monthly subscription fee, that means Peloton the brand is out here printing money on the backs of bored rich people who’ve run out of ways to spend their cash.

Which is kind of funny to us, considering the fact that, with a little elbow grease and about $150 and the cost of an iPad, you could build your very own cheap, wired, stationary trainer.