Hell yes, Halloween is finally here. The one day of the year when we gladly consume scary shit in massive quantities, instead of the rest of the year when it’s shoveled down our throats whether we like it or not.
For our part at least, we’ve gone all out with loads of very MEL-y Halloween-themed content to quench your thirst for terror. Like this deep dive into the campy horror classic Halloweentown, and why it’s really about an incel dressed as Oscar Wilde. Or this terrible tale about what it’s like to make ends meet as a real-life lizard man. Or this spooky revelation that everyone’s favorite Halloween candy, M&M’s, are really a vehicle for a queer love story.
There’s plenty more where that came from — you need only look below. If you dare…
“The Untold Story of the Dancing Pumpkin Man”
You’ve undoubtedly seen him, either on TV or YouTube: A man, dressed in a black leotard and wearing a pumpkin over his head dancing rhythmically (and mesmerizingly) to Halloween house music. But do you know where Dancing Pumpkin Man comes from, and how he was able to take the internet by storm? Quinn Myers tracked down Matt Geiler, the man behind Dancing Pumpkin Man, to find out how a happy, goofy guy who anchored the 10 o’clock KXVO newscast in Omaha could transform himself into an online sensation. READ MORE
The State of Male Witchcraft
Did you know that most male practitioners of magick prefer being called a “witch” to a “warlock”? This week, Magdalene Taylor introduced us to two male witches living and working among us: Enrique, a gay Creole witch in his early 20s for whom an online community of LGBTQ witches is essential to his practice, and Griffin, a witch in his 60s who’s been practicing the craft according to British folkloric tradition for decades.
Thinking about getting down on some organ flesh tonight? You wouldn’t stuff your re-animated corpse with just any ol’ meat, would you? We analyzed the ingredients of four of the most vital of organs to find out whether the less, shall we say, popular cuts of meat are any good for us:
- Eating brains could actually make you smarter! Or deader, it’s kind of a toss-up.
- Take heart in knowing that eating a hearty pile of hearts can bolster your, um, heart.
- Did you know liver is one of the healthiest meats out there? (Not YOUR liver, of course.)
- Legend holds that eating balls makes your own balls work better, but reality says “naw.”
Speaking of Treats…
If you hear something on the news about a bit of trick-or-treating gone awry, odds are the story is more about the “trick” than the “treat.” But, in fact, there are numerous instances where folks have gotten their biggest scare from the treats they’ve received on Halloween — from live goldfish to raw potatoes.
Ghosts of Halloween Past
Camp Creep Out
In 1980, Friday the 13th established empty summer camps as THE place for horny teens to get their freak on while getting totally freaked out and maybe murdered by a dude in a mask. But how accurate is the creepy, kinda sexy summer camp? Are counselors really just making out all the time? Would a group of teens ever be left alone like that? Do all cabins have to look like they’re at least 50 years old? We asked three former camp counselors whether Friday the 13th got it right.
You know what’s scarier than any killer car, dog, pet “sematary” or possessed hotel? Why gender identity, of course.
If Halloween is the tame, somewhat campy main event of spooky season, then October 30th, aka “Mischief Night,” is Halloween’s mayhem-filled undercard. That’s when, as tradition has it, local kids sneak out of the house and prank their neighbors — TPing houses, “egging” front doors and generally running amok. Here’s how that tradition began, and perhaps more importantly, how you get all that egg off of your vinyl siding.
Oh No, The Horror!
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of movies that aren’t in the horror genre? Tim Grierson does. He picked out six film scenes that will give you goosebumps even if the rest of the movie won’t — from the infamous face melt in Raiders of the Lost Ark, to the least-friendly worm on Ceti Alpha V in Star Trek: Wrath of Khan.
Eat, Drink and Be Scary
Look, it takes more than a monster mash to turn a Halloween party into a graveyard smash. So how does a regular, non-deadite guy like yourself throw the perfect scary soirée? Follow a few, simple rules. Like:
- Set the right tone by not half-assing the invitation (nonchalance isn’t your friend).
- Make two guest lists, an “A” squad and a “B” squad (confirm which of your A guests can’t make it, and invite the Bs to fill the gaps).
- If you can, host the party in a central location (or secure alternative transpo to deter the urge to drink and drive).
- Don’t throw a party if you’re on shaky ground emotionally (God forbid the disappointment sends you spiraling).
- Remember that a low turnout doesn’t equal bad friends (people lead busy lives, after all).
Get the rest of our best Halloween party advice, here.