I’m sure plenty of guys are more than a little generous with themselves when they measure their dicks. Maybe they press the ruler into their pelvis a bit, round up half an inch or over-report their findings in a series of desperate texts. But frankly, this is child’s play. If you’re really trying to add some length to your number, there’s a new system in town: the butt-to-tip measurement.
On TikTok, the concept was first introduced by @ladyoreo84 as she demonstrated a device intended to make riding your partner easier — it features a metal frame and elastic straps that allow you to bounce without as much pressure on your knees and hips. Quickly, someone commented that the device made it look as though a man would struggle to be big enough to reach inside of a woman if she was using it. “If your man ain’t 10 inches thick, butt-to-tip laying on his back, we’ve got a problem,” @ladyoreo84 responded.
Basically, what she’s referring to is the distance between the very tip of a man’s erect penis and whatever surface he’s laying on. And while measuring one’s dick from tip to butthole standing up sounds brilliant, she’s really talking about the depth of a man’s hips from the side, which you’d measure by laying down on your back with a boner. When you factor that in, the 10-inch requirement doesn’t seem that unreasonable. There’s gotta be, what, at least five inches of mass from the top of a person’s stomach to the floor, right?
So maybe she has a good point — particularly in positions where a woman is on top, the depth of the man’s body does play somewhat of a role in how well she might be able to navigate him. Obviously, though, most people just ignored all that. Instead, we’re all totally hung up on the idea of “butt-to-tip.”
“Uh oh, we’ve got a new measurement, butt-to-tip!” @swarrley said in a duet of the original. “I just gained at least eight inches. Bless up,” one commenter replied. “Goddamn, this is a good day,” @bigdaddyfromcinn celebrated in another duet. “I’m a fuckin superstar.”
But if we really did adopt this into how we talk about dick size, it would disrupt everything we know about big dick. The bigger the depth of someone’s hips, the bigger we’d consider their dick to be. The actual size of the dick itself often wouldn’t be much of a determining factor. It would basically all be totally arbitrary.
In fairness, though, the way we currently talk about dicks already is arbitrary. Sure, dick size matters on the extreme ends of big and small, but it usually has little impact on how someone uses it. So why not just pivot to the butt-to-tip system? Is our current measurement protocol really any better? And, most importantly, is it nearly as fun to say?
Magdalene Taylor
Magdalene Taylor is a staff writer at MEL. She covers internet culture, sex and the online adult industry. She lives in Brooklyn but is from God's Country, Western Massachusetts.
