An 8.5-inch dick might sound like a blessing, but Magnus Cox — the pseudonymous creator of Big Dick Guide, an online blog for the well-endowed — has long grappled with the fear of hurting the women he fucks. “I’m pretty used to holding back and going slow, but if we’re in the mood to go hard and fast, it gets really difficult to control penetration depth,” he tells me. “If we’re really going for it, there’s an increased likelihood of smashing into her cervix and ending the good times — which is easy to do, since most vaginas are only about six inches deep.”
After researching the woes of fellow hung bros online a few years ago, Cox came across a handy solution: penis buffers, also known as “bumpers” or “depth limiters.” Designs vary, but these thick rings, often but not always made of silicone, slide on top of your cock to limit the depth of penetration. There’s a growing range of options out there, some of which also promise to maximize pleasure, like chunky, vibrating cock rings.
As for Cox, he swears by the stackable OhNut, a product created by entrepreneur Emily Sauer after years of being frustrated by vaginal pain during sex. “I felt like a failure, both to myself and to my partner,” she writes on the website’s slick “about” page. Determined to find a solution, she decided one day to slide a pink, frosted donut onto her partner’s dong to stop him thrusting too deep. Sadly, Sauer avoids diving deep into the gory details of cum-soaked frosting, but apparently the sweet experience caused an “emotional upheaval” — basically, this inadvisable experiment inspired the OhNut’s donut-shaped design.
“That sounds like yeast infection central,” jokes 28-year-old sex worker Lettie Lith, when I tell her the story of the OhNut’s invention. But like Sauer, Lith also occasionally finds big dicks too painful to handle, largely due to her “tilted womb and low cervix.” Until now she’s used a little trick of her own: “My big penis hack is to orgasm before penetration. The more aroused you are, the further your cervix and uterus are drawn up into your pelvis, allowing more room for dick.”
Lith isn’t averse to using a buffer, though — in fact, she recently gifted her live-in partner a silicone, buffer-style sex toy, designed to slide pleasurably over his cock as he jerks it. The guys I speak to have no complaints about buffers, either. “It’s unobtrusive to use, the low profile is nice, it stays in place even when it’s lubed up and the stackable rings make it easy to customize the depth limitation,” says Cox, explaining that it’s “taken a huge mental load off.” Thanks to buffers, he can pound without fear.
Fellow buffer-user Tom, also a pseudonym, even reaches for them with partners who don’t experience pain during penetration. “They’re very comfortable and produce a mild cock-ring effect,” he tells me. As for the OhNut, his partners only notice less pain when he stacks three of the rings at once. “One or two doesn’t seem to help much in terms of reducing pain,” he explains. Some buffers even come with “wide” options for particularly girthy hogs, too.
Buffers aren’t the only way to ease the pain of taking a huge cock, though. “When you’re face-to-face — or hole-to-face — with a larger-than-average appendage, stick to positions where you can control the depth of penetration,” says sex educator Poppy Scarlett, founder of online sex toy boutique Self & More. “Climb on top of your partner to control how many inches you’re taking and the speed with which you’re taking them, or try spooning sex — it takes the weight of the penetrating partner off of the receiver.”
What you do before the fucking is important, too — Scarlett advises plenty of dirty talk, making out and “sensual touching” to get your juices quite literally flowing. “As for lube, use a thick and cushiony lube for comfort or a silicone-based lube for lasting power,” she advises. “If you’re engaging in vaginal penetration, use it sparingly. Too much of the wet stuff can cause slippage, and reduce the control that you have over the penetration depth.”
Toys can help to gradually build tolerance for penetration as well. “If the dick is only a bit bigger than what you’re used to, you can use a slightly smaller dildo or vibrator to warm up for penetration,” says Isabelle Uren, a certified sex educator at online sex toy store BedBible. “If there’s a big size difference, you might want to use dilators or a training kit with dildos of increasing size to build up to penetration over a longer period.”
Combined with the aforementioned tips, tricks and hacks, penis buffers have enabled well-hung lotharios like Cox to fuck with less fear. “Buffers can’t replace foreplay and lube — especially for girthy guys — but they can be a great pain-saver,” he concludes.
They’re everything you need for a sweet, pain-free orgasm. I’d save the donut, though, for breakfast.