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Marvel Really Screwed Up By Not Making She-Hulk Thicc

The fandom would’ve gone wild for a jacked woman superhero instead of... whatever this is

Well, here we are, 14 years into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and shit has never looked worse. Maybe it’s the strain on visual effects teams tasked with turning a lot of dully composed green-screen shots into several blockbuster movies and ongoing TV series every year, but everyone apart from the diehard fandom seems quite fed up with this washed look:

Whatever the visual merits and flaws of the forthcoming She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, however, you can see that one wrong creative choice could have been averted with zero fuss. That is, if you’re going to the trouble of animating a super-strong woman, why the hell ain’t she thicc?

Boo! Hiss! No disrespect to actress Tatiana Maslany, who is both excellent on screen (check out the series Orphan Black, in which she plays a bunch of clones) and very attractive. It’s just that in an era of body positivity and celebrating all sizes, a Hulk-sized She-Hulk doesn’t seem like too much to ask for. Instead, Disney seems bent on conventionally “feminine” proportions for the new hero. From some angles, she’s laughably skinny. Give her calves and thighs, you cowards!

I don’t want to hear any “she was thin in the original comics” bullshit, or sci-fi explanations for why she’s not jacked. Go touch grass, nerd. If they can put her in a lawyer suit and heels, they can beef her up. It’s what the people want, and I don’t get why the suits have so much trouble seeing that. Are they worried men won’t beat off to a musclebound 7-foot woman who could crush a watermelon in the crook of an elbow? Because I assure you, this is not the case.

Sure, it’s difficult and expensive to bring these characters to, uh, “life.” Technology can’t meet every expectation. For this, however, there’s no excuse. Marvel is deliberately failing the segment of its audience with any taste whatsoever while catering to the 500 neckbeard dudes who would throw a huge tantrum over seeing a woman with abs. And I do believe this strategy is going to cost them in the long run, as surely as any lack of inclusivity would. Pop entertainment is for the masses, after all, and no one feels represented by a slim vegetable.