Whether you love ‘em or hate ‘em, there’s no denying that realistic dildos — that is, dildos made to look like an actual human penis, rather than a more abstract shape — are extremely popular. They’re probably what you think of right away when you see the word “dildo” — large or small, veiny or smooth, colorful or subdued, but unmistakably cocklike.
When I’ve worked at sex shops in the past, realistic dildos were always some of our top sellers. They inspire arousal and excitement in some people, insecurity and intimidation in others — and sometimes all of those feelings at once. But since it can be overwhelming to look for your ideal realistic dildo amongst the thousands on the market, let’s talk about what you should consider when shopping, why you might feel some type of way about this type of sex toy and what the best options are.
Why Would Someone Want a Realistic Dildo?
The simplest reason a person might crave a realistic dildo is that they find dicks sexy. “Realistic dildos can enhance the fantasy of wearing or being penetrated by a life-like cock,” says Epiphora, a blogger and sex toy reviewer. Maybe you’re aroused by the way cocks look; maybe you enjoy the sensations of a humanesque mushroom-shaped head, coronal ridge and veiny shaft; maybe you like to fantasize about your favorite penis-possessing porn star, movie star or rock star, and think a dildo would be a helpful stand-in.
Realistic dildos also integrate nicely with various kinky role-play scenarios. If, for example, you and your partner are intrigued by the idea of cuckolding, but don’t want to actually invite a third person into your bedroom, this type of dildo can be a good compromise.
If you like strap-on sex, or want to try it, a realistic dildo could become your appendage of choice. This could be for various fantasy-related reasons, or — in the case of some trans, nonbinary and gender-non-conforming folks — it could be a way of affirming one’s gender through sex, and feeling more gender-euphoric.
Feeling Intimidated By a Realistic Dildo?
Some people, especially cis guys, might feel some anxiety about bringing a penis-like toy into the bedroom, thinking it’ll outshine their own factory-installed unit. But it’s important to remember that you’re a human being, and so you inherently bring way more to the table than a sex toy ever could. “A dildo is a hunk of silicone. It’s not a body part attached to an actual person,” Epiphora explains. “Jealousy seems to come from some conflation of the two, so I think it’s important for folks to separate them in their mind.”
A dildo, for instance, can’t remember exactly how your partner likes to be touched, or whisper the perfect piece of dirty talk into their ear. A dildo can’t emotionally support your partner, compliment them, reassure them or hold them. It’s just a tool. If you used a hammer to build a bookshelf, you wouldn’t say that the hammer built the shelf — and by the same token, any pleasure you give your partner with a dildo is pleasure that you gave them, with the assistance of that dildo.
Three Important Criteria in a Realistic Dildo
1) Material Safety. A lot of realistic dildos are made of porous and/or skin-irritating materials, like PVC and rubber. It’s worth springing for a usually-pricier 100 percent silicone dildo instead — it’ll be far easier to clean, won’t irritate your sensitive bits and will last you much longer.
2) Shape and Size. While I know from my sex shop days that many people assume the biggest dildo on the shelf is the one that’ll feel the best, that isn’t always the case. Bodies are different, and you’ve got to make sure the one you get will work for your (or your partner’s) anatomy. Try comparing the dildo measurements you see online to sex toys you already own, penises you already enjoy or even your own fingers, to get a sense of their scale. As with all dildos, girth is generally a more important consideration than length, because you can always insert a dildo part way if it’s too long, but you won’t be able to insert it at all if it’s too thick. If you want a toy that can stimulate the G-spot or prostate, look for one with an upward curve and a pronounced head.
3) Aesthetics. Some people like their dildos to match their own skin tone, for example, especially if gender affirmation is one of their goals, while some people strongly prefer toys that come in playful colors. There’s also the matter of circumcision to consider — as with real dicks, fake dicks come cut or uncut, and there are plenty of options to satisfy either preference. Ideally, the dildo you choose should be one that both you and your partner(s) find pleasing to the eye.
Now that we’ve established why you might want a realistic dildo and how to shop for one, here are some of the best realistic dildos on the market…
Best All-Round Realistic Dildo: Vixen Creations Mustang
“Vixen [Creations] is the industry standard, with a range of realistic shapes and sizes in their luscious dual-density silicone,” Epiphora says. “Dual-density” means that this dildo has a core made of firm silicone, with an outer layer of softer and squishier silicone, creating an overall effect that’s somewhere between a real penis and one of those squeezable stress balls. (Squeezing on this dildo may also relieve your stress, but in a decidedly different way.)
The Mustang will work well for a wide variety of users, with its average dimensions and pleasurable curve for targeting the G-spot or prostate. It comes in three different skin tones, as well as some more fun colors, like “Fluor-a-Pink” and “Tie-Bright.” If you’re not sure which realistic dildo to get, this one might just be your Goldilocks cock: not too big, not too small, just right.
Best Girthy Realistic Dildo: Vixen Creations Buck
The Buck is Epiphora’s personal favorite from the Vixen Creations line, and if you like thick dildos, it might become yours, too. With a beefy diameter of 1.9 inches at its widest point, the Buck is a solid pick for those who like it big.
It’s not the best choice for strap-on play, though, because it’s on the shorter side at six inches of insertable length, and a harness usually reduces a dildo’s usable length by about an inch. But if you just plan on kickin’ it old-school and thrusting it with your hand, the length shouldn’t be an issue.
Best Slim Realistic Dildo: Pleasure Works Rookie
Bigger isn’t always better, especially for anal play, or for people new to penetration. If you’re in search of a dildo on the slimmer side, this one could fit the bill, at just 1.25 inches across. It comes in three different skin tones, or a rose gold option in case your version of realism is, well, rose gold.
The Rookie’s pronounced head rubs pleasurably across the G-spot or prostate on each stroke. You can slide the included bullet vibrator into the hole at the bottom of the toy if you like a side order of vibration with your penetration. This cute little dildo proves that good things come in small, uh, packages.
Best Bendable Realistic Dildo: New York Toy Collective Shilo
Queer-owned company New York Toy Collective uses an inventive bendable core in their dildos, so you can get the exact angle you want to hit those sensitive internal spots. This also makes it great for “pack ‘n’ play” use — i.e., wearing the dildo in a strap-on under your clothes if, for example, you’re out on a date and want to be ready for action as soon as you get home.
Available in four different skin tones and a handful of other colors, you should be able to find a Shilo that works for you (and if it doesn’t, you can just bend it until it does).
Best G-Spot/Prostate Realistic Dildo: Uberrime Splendid
“I adore the all-purpose Splendid, which comes in three sizes,” says Epiphora. With girths ranging from 1.59 to 2 inches, the sizing options available for the Splendid make it a lot easier to find one that’ll work for you.
This handmade dildo is dual-density, for that delightfully squishy feeling — and its bulging head creates a pleasant “popping” sensation against the G-spot or prostate, whether you’re thrusting with it or just holding it still and clenching around it. It comes in an assortment of fun colors, but none that look like human skin, so if the humanlike aesthetic is important to you, you may want to look elsewhere.
Best Affordable Realistic Dildo: Cloud 9 Pro Sensual 7 Inch
Body-safe realistic dildos are usually on the pricier side, because of the high-quality materials and attention to detail that go into making them, but this one costs just $28.99 and is surprisingly great for its price point. Its coronal ridge is nice for hitting internal erogenous zones, and its average dimensions will please a broad range of people.
At seven inches long, the Cloud 9 Pro Sensual will work well in a strap-on — and it also has a suction-cup base, so you can attach it to the wall or floor if you want to use it hands-free. The balls on this bad boy might make it extra gender-affirming for some nonbinary and transmasculine folks, too.
Best Realistic Dildo for Strap-On Play: Fuze Ten Ultra
Epiphora recommends dildos from Canadian company Fuze for use in a strap-on, because of their unique scoop-shaped base. The ridges will rub against the penetrating partner’s clit during strap-on sex, creating more sensation and more potential for orgasm, especially if you slip a bullet vibe into the hole at the base.
This dildo is slim enough, at 1.38 inches wide, that it should be manageable for most users. The silicone is soft and flexible, for optimal comfort. Its gentle upward curve can easily stroke the G-spot or prostate without feeling overwhelmingly intense. You can get this dildo in either of three skin tones — and there’s also an uncircumcised option, if that’s more your jam.
Best Gender-Affirming Realistic Dildo: Vixen Creations Goodfella
The astonishingly dick-like appearance of this dildo means it could feel particularly gender-affirming for some trans and nonbinary folks to strap it on, whether they use it for penetrative sex, receiving a dildo blow job or just wearing it casually to see how it feels. As with many silicone toys, it holds body heat fairly well, which adds to the realism.
Best Uncut Realistic Dildo: Tantus Uncut #1
A handful of sex toy companies have attempted to make dildos with actual moveable “foreskin,” but none so far have been all that impressive, because, well, silicone doesn’t move like human skin. The natural gliding action that many people enjoy about uncut dicks has yet to be replicated in a dildo. For the time being, the best options for foreskin fans are the ones that just look uncircumcised.
The Tantus Uncut #1 is ultra-realistic in appearance, and has enough length that it works wonderfully in a strap-on. Its “foreskin” softens the intensity of its coronal ridge, for a sensation that’s more like gently massaging your G-spot or prostate than pounding it.
Best Make-Your-Own Realistic Dildo: Clone-a-Willy
Although there are countless talented dildo designers out there, sometimes the best sex toys are the ones designed by nature itself — which is why you might want to make a duplicate of your own dick (or your partner’s). The Clone-a-Willy is an all-in-one kit containing everything you need to create a lifelike silicone homage to your favorite penis. The final product won’t be harness-compatible or anal-safe, because it’ll lack a flared base, but it does come with a removable vibrator that doubles as a handle to make it easier to thrust the toy in and out.
If doing a sexy science experiment with your partner sounds fun, definitely give this a try. It’s also an especially good option for people in long-distance relationships — how thoughtful would it be if you knew your partner was missing that D, so you mailed them their own copy to keep?
Ah, modern love.