So your drug dealer was feeling charitable, and now you have more shrooms than you can take at once (unless you never want to experience reality again). No sweat — here are three solid ways to store your mushy pile so they don’t get moldy, dry out or get scavenged by some person or wild animal (who isn’t you).
How to Store Shrooms: The Standard Method
Since moist mushrooms are prone to mold, they’re best stored bone-dry. Fortunately, if you bought them, they’re probably already dehydrated. If you harvested them yourself, all you need to do is set them on a cooling rack, place them under a slow-moving fan and voilà: Your shrooms should be dry in under three days. If that’s not fast enough, Grace and PJ, trip sitters at Akasa Journeys, say you can place them in the oven on low or in a dehydrator until they’re cracker-dry.
Once your shrooms are crunchy, Nicholas Levich, co-founder of Psychedelic Passage, says you should place them in an airtight container — mason jars, plastic bags and vacuum-sealed bags all work well. If you want to fit more shrooms into one container, you can grind them up (this works particularly well if you want to stash your ground-up shrooms in gel caps, another sneaky storage trick — they just look like vitamins or supplements).
If you want to ensure they don’t go moldy, one of the mushroomheads on r/Shrooms suggests dropping a desiccant packet into the container alongside your shrooms. Then, simply store them in a cool, dark location, like a drawer or cupboard, and they’ll stay good for up to a year (after which they’ll be less potent and increasingly susceptible to rot).
You can also store shrooms in the freezer indefinitely.
How to Hide Your Shrooms: The Sneaky Method
Whether you’re hiding them from a shroom-hungry housemate or taking them to a place where law enforcement could be an issue, one of the stealthiest ways to store shrooms is in honey. Simply drop some dried mushies into a sealable container, pour liquid honey over the top and store your tasty shroom-honey in a cool, dark spot for up to four months. If you’re not much of a honey person, you can do the same exact thing with chocolate.
Alternatively, as one of the administrators on dedicated mushroom website Mycotopia.net suggests, “Small amounts of ganja or shrooms can be kept very accessible so that you can just swallow them if you get pulled over.” Ah, yes — the Super Troopers approach. Just try to arrive at your location ASAP if you need to use this tactic.
How to Be One with Your Shrooms: The Drug Lord Method
If you have money to spend, more mushrooms than the eye can see and can’t shake the feeling that you’re slowly turning into Dr. Evil, perhaps you can take inspiration from a group of shroom growers who, in 2020, were discovered inside a massive makeshift underground bunker — or rather, several different shipping containers tunneled into the side of a hill.
A guy can dream, can’t he?
Ian Lecklitner
Ian Lecklitner is a staff writer at MEL Magazine. He mostly writes about everyone's favorite things: Sex, drugs and food.
