Dave Navarro’s Tattoo Thievery, Crying Superheroes and Botox for Your Balls

I don’t think I’ll ever understand trying to improve the size and shape of one’s balls — and that goes double for using Botox in an effort to achieve that end.

First off, balls are ugly. No amount of cosmetic work is going to change that inalienable fact. Is one man’s taut, hairy bean bag any better or worse than another man’s droopy sack? Probably not.

Secondly, you really want some poor clinician messing around down there with a needle full of botulism? I imagine the exchange would probably go something like this:

Lastly, Botox isn’t exactly the price of a cup of coffee. That shit costs anywhere from $500 to $2,000 a session, and has to be repeated three times a year for best results. Wouldn’t you rather, I dunno, take a family vacation or something?

But hey, you do you, ball Botox guy.

Must Read

“This Is What Happened When Dave Navarro Stole a Dude’s Taco Bell Tattoo”
It’s one thing for Dave Navarro to claim ownership over “Live Mas” ever since riding the Taco Bell catchphrase into full-on meme status on Ink Master. It’s another thing altogether to claim that someone else’s “Live Mas” ink is his own. For members of the tattooing community, that’s top of the list of “things you don’t do.” Which is why they brought holy hell upon the former Jane’s Addiction guitarist when he stole the “Live Mas” tattoo of North Carolina bartender Caleb Coffey. READ MORE

Big Superheroes Don’t Cry

People are freaking out about Captain America’s eyes raining in the new Avengers: Endgame trailer. After all, superheroes aren’t supposed to cry — they’re alphas, not soy-sipping cuckbois. But even a cursory glance at the Marvel and DC cinematic universes reveals that Cap is in well-worn territory when it comes to superheroes crying. It may even be something we need more of.

*Cough, Cough*

Cough syrup is one of those magical elixirs that just works. But how does it work, exactly? Let’s find out.

Snack Attack

Holiday office parties are bad enough with all the booze and potential for shithead behavior, but then they have to ply us with greasy snacks, too? That, my friends, is how you end up with a serious hangover — and post-holiday gut. Thankfully, we tracked down a few nutritionists for advice on the best ways to avoid overconsumption this Christmas season.

Party Foul

It’s the same thing every year: New parents who want to bring their kids to holiday parties squaring off against the hosts who don’t want them ruining the fun. In a debate such as this, no one wins. But there is a way for everyone to wind up happy, as long as they’re willing to compromise.

Men Have Found a Reason to Get Botox

Guys have never really taken to Botox the same way women have — chalk it up to not caring all that much about wrinkles. But now, some men have figured out that, when it comes to their bodies, Botox does do one thing really well: It makes their hairy ball bags hang down further, feel smoother and look bigger. Hooray?

Make A Change

The New Year is almost upon us, and that means making resolutions — and then breaking them almost immediately. Change is hard, which is why you may want to hear from people who have not only successfully made their lives better, but also how they managed to pull it off in the first place. And there’s no place to crowdsource folks like that better than r/AskReddit.

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Jeff Gross

Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.