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Cowboys, A Guy Unfortunately Named ‘Riley Reid’ and The Perfect Cover for Your Male-Pattern Baldness

It’s Cowboy Week at MEL, because, well, could there be a more iconic symbol of American masculinity? Just be glad we’re not forcing more holiday shit down your throats, because I know you’re getting plenty of that from every Starbucks, Nordstrom and Rubio’s Fish Tacos from sea to shining sea.

But seriously, folks, let’s talk cowboys — and not just the traditional ones either. Like what about the drugstore cowboys who rob pharmacies for prescription drugs? Or the cowgirls who take on bucking mechanical bulls at the local watering hole? Or those in the Patriot Movement who have bastardized the outlaw legend for their own, xenophobic purposes?

In other words, these aren’t your run-of-the-mill, John Wayne-variety cowboys.

Must Read

How the Outlaw Legend Framed the Modern Patriot Movement

More From Cowboy Week

The Drugstore Cowboy in the Opioid Crisis

Why Women Riding Mechanical Bulls Make Us So Horny

Mustangs Symbolize American Freedom. They’re Also Destroying the West.

From the Service Dept.

What’s in This?: Bar Soap

How to Get Rid of Soup

A Gentleman’s Guide to Asking Your Wife’s Friends and Family for Gift Ideas

Everything Else That’s Fit to Post

What It’s Like to Be a Guy Named Riley Reid

Tolstoy Was Actually Your Anarchist Boyfriend

An Ode to the Outlet Mall, America’s Fading Monument to Frugal Fashion

The Hat’s Outta the Bag: MEL, Now With 100 Percent More Merch!

So buy our shit, dammit!