On the day of our call, OnlyFans star Maddie May has 40 of her dildos lined up before her. “It’s cleaning day,” she tells me. She’s got one in just about every color you can think of, and in just about every size. Her collection is such that she barely even shops for them at mainstream sex shops, anymore. Etsy, in fact, is one of the few places she can find what she’s looking for: realistic-looking dildos under five inches long.
May calls herself the most size-inclusive creator on OnlyFans, and she’s probably right. “I have every toy size in half-inch increments, from two inches to 12 and-a-half,” she says. She’s currently on the hunt for something smaller, to accommodate her viewers with clinically diagnosed micropenises (though it’s a challenge to find such a toy, particularly one that looks anatomically correct). Her hope is to create adult content that accommodates every possible viewer, making people of all dick sizes feel sexually attractive and desired. It’s more than just a good niche in the market, though — for May, it’s body-positive activism.
May, also known as BubbleBratz, is an adorable, 22-year-old brunette. She’s 4-foot-11, has braces and 34G breasts. She’s among OnlyFans’ coveted .01 percent, having built up her following since the beginning of the pandemic via TikTok after being unable to continue to work as an exotic dancer. Only a week after lockdown began, she also discovered she was pregnant. At high-risk for COVID complications and now the mom of a toddler, OnlyFans has presented the perfect opportunity for her to make money on her terms.
“People think of it as a backup solution, but I’ve definitely always known that’s what I was gonna do,” she says. What she didn’t expect, though, is that she’d become so involved in body positivity. Early in her days on OnlyFans, she began receiving comments from men expressing disappointment or dissatisfaction in their own bodies. At the time, May was making content with her boyfriend, who happened to have an eight-inch dick. “I’d get comments saying things like, ‘Oh, so I have to have an eight-inch dick in order to sleep with you?’ And I was like, ‘Well, I’m not going to sleep with you, but no, you don’t need to be eight inches.’”
She realized, however, that this “eight-inch” figure seemed to be the norm in porn. Very rarely is mainstream content made with five-inch dicks, despite that being the real-life average. And for dicks that are smaller than average, much of what exists emphasizes humiliation and shame, two kinks that, while often desired, don’t represent the full spectrum of pleasure small penis-havers might enjoy. “It’s a whole cultural insecurity,” she explains. “I don’t think I’ve met a single man who doesn’t have some sort of worry about their penis. And you’re basically not allowed to talk about your penis insecurity — no one cares.”
May suspects porn and media writ large are to blame for the warped standards some people have regarding penis size. And so, she combats this by making her own porn and pleasuring herself with dildos of all sizes — it shows that all dicks can be pleasurable. Given that the majority of nerve endings sit right at the entrance of the vagina — and the fact that the clitoris is outside of the vagina entirely — a two-inch dildo is indeed capable of providing plenty of sensation, when used correctly.
But as her struggles to find smaller dildos suggests, the sex-toy industry might play a role in this penis insecurity, too. While she’s tried to find dildos of every color and size, she’s managed only to find her smallest dildos in unnatural colors. Her preference would be to have dildos reflective of every skin tone. More than that, she’s also struggled to find dildos that appear uncircumcised. Even in porn from countries where the majority of the population is uncircumcised, she still sees performers using dildos replicated after a circumcised penis.
Nevertheless, her collection of dildos is such that she estimates having spent around $5,000 on them. It’s likely been a worthwhile investment, though — May now has over 340,000 followers on Twitter and 880,000 on TikTok, which surely translates to a solid subscriber count on her $12 a month OnlyFans. “I talk to these men all day, and they’ve said that it’s really helped to see a woman in this job be pleasured by something their size,” she says. “That makes me feel so good. I always wanted to do sex work, and now I can do sex work and make people feel better about themselves.”
She may not yet have a dildo that looks exactly like every penis on the planet, but she’s getting close. Maybe soon the body-positivity movement can expand into the world of sex toys, making realistic sizes a more readily-accessible thing. In the meantime, she hopes her assortment of neon-colored and glass clear dildos will suffice, so long as she gets your measurements right.