In a world perpetually preoccupied with big dicks, there are plenty of people who’d choose a smaller peen over a larger one. Dinky One, which bills itself as the “largest small penis dating site in the world for all genders and sexualities,” boasts over 120,294 members, and Reddit is full of impassioned accounts from people who want the world to know they love small dicks.
It makes sense — a little cock can be just as much fun as a bigger one, and there are countless ways you can please your partner with a smaller dick. There’s even a plethora of ways you can get by without using your baby hog at all.
But first, let’s find out if you even have a small dick to begin with. According to research by Bruce King, a professor of Psychology at Clemson University, most men think the average boner is over six inches long. Actually, it’s somewhere between 5.1 and 5.5 inches, with a median length of 5.3. (Here’s a handy visual guide of household objects that are roughly the same size.) Based on these studies, we can safely say that a “small” pecker is under five inches.
If this is you, your first and best move is to stop worrying about the size of your dick and start focusing on your partner’s pleasure. Ever wondered why lesbians are way more likely to orgasm during sex than straight women (86 percent versus 65 percent, respectively)? It’s because they don’t necessarily rely on dicks — or penetration — to have good sex. In fact, most women don’t orgasm from penetration alone, and turn to cllitoral stimulation for that honor instead.
That means dick size isn’t as relevant as you think it is, and many people who prefer smol cocks cite their partner’s willingness to do things other than penetration as the main reason why. “Guys with smaller dicks aren’t as reliant on their dicks to provide pleasure,” says Gabby, a 22-year-old student in Philadelphia. “They’ll focus on foreplay, and are more open-minded when you give them feedback about how they’re doing.”
There are tons of ways to pleasure your partner with something other than your dick (though your dick should get some love too, if you want that). Fingering, oral sex, dirty talk, nipple play, consensual power exchange, using toys, mutual masturbation, watching porn together and involving other people are all great options. In most cases, focusing on hand and mouth stuff is a good bet, and it wouldn’t hurt to practice those skills (or to do them for longer than five seconds).
Take it from Keely, a 25-year-old journalist in Tennessee. While she enjoys penetration, she says fingers get her off just as good as a real or fake dick could. “I’d say fingers are almost better for hitting all the right spots because they have more control,” she tells me. “You can control the pressure, speed and movement a lot more narrowly than with a strap-on or dick.”
Another surprising benefit of being on the smaller side? You may be able to hit your partner’s G-spot better, says Chaim, a pseudonymous owner of a 2.8-inch penis and one half of TinyBigCouple on Pornhub,. “If we find the right angle and motion, she has multiple orgasms,” he proudly writes. “She’s even had (I know it’s lame of me for counting) over 20 orgasms in succession within 10 minutes.” Just think — you could do that with your fingers, a toy or your dick.
Stella Harris, author of Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink and Relationships, says this is may just be luck, as the location of the G-spot (which is actually less of a “spot” and more of a conglomeration of nerves, blood vessels and erectile tissue) varies slightly from person to person. That said, the G-spot is typically only 2 to 3 inches inside the vagina, so a small hog and the right angle might be all you need to reach it.
More into prostates than G-spots? No problem — prostates are only a few inches inside the rectum on the frontal wall, and can be stimulated just as easily with a small dick as a G-spot can. In fact, many butt plugs and prostate toys are hardly longer than a finger, and most aren’t terribly thick, either — it’s a highly sensitive area, so you only need a little to get a lot.
When it comes time to involve your dick, there are a few positions that more minute men stand by. Andy Stone, a 42-year-old porn actor and producer who says his penis measures about five inches, prefers classic missionary and good ol’ 69. “As I don’t have a long dick, I can fully penetrate her and stimulate her clit with my pubis,” he explains. He’s referring to the fact that some larger men can’t “bottom out” in their partners without hurting them — small dicked guys have the advantage there.
Meanwhile, Chaim swears by cowgirl and doggy style. As he explains, the curve of his wife’s body gives them both the feeling of deeper penetration. “If we’re able to use my less than three inches in that position, most smaller men will have no problem,” he tells me.
Of course, you should really be asking your partner what they like. Chances are, their interests and fantasies are much more diverse than penis size, and you may be surprised to find you’re better equipped to meet their needs than you thought. For example, Gabby loves to give aggressive oral sex, which is harder with big-dicked guys. “In terms of getting what I need, it’s more comfortable with smaller dicks,” she says. Lots of people will also say the same thing about anal sex — it’s much less painful (and sometimes more pleasurable) if their partner has a small dick.
Likewise, you might find that they’re interested in things like BDSM, power exchange, roleplay, voyeurism or any number of other kinks. If that’s the case, good for you — you don’t need a big cock to spank someone.
It’s also important to note that just because Mother Nature gifted you with a small cock doesn’t mean you can’t know what it’s like to have a big one. Plenty of sex toy companies make products called “sheaths,” which are essentially hollowed-out dildos you can wear on your cock. Using them is easy — just lube up the inside, stick your dick in, pull your balls through the strap, and bam, you’ve got a hulking dong.
A final note? Be confident. Just because you’re not packing a super-sized sausage in your pants doesn’t mean you can’t have big dick energy. In fact, I’d argue that many women prefer BDE over an actual big dick. It’s about how you carry yourself (and your small dick) in the bedroom, and about whether or not you actually care about getting your partner off. “A for effort” is a real thing when it comes to getting laid, and I can guarantee your partner is paying way more attention to your communication, oral sex skills and chemistry than they are to the size of your pecker.
Ashley Uzer
Ashley Uzer, MBA, is a Los Angeles-based freelance writer focused on sex, relationships and other shit that makes people feel good (including food and travel when she gets the chance).
