What UPS and FedEx Drivers Think of Santa’s Stolen Valor

‘I’m tired of hearing about that big juicy bitch.’ Screw St. Nick — it’s your delivery driver who deserves the cookies and praise

If Pizzas Are Round, Why Are Pizza Boxes Square?

Sighs, clears throat: Pizza boxes are square because it makes logical sense, you complete imbecile

How People Who Suck at Cooking Are Surviving Quarantine

Desperate for sustenance, quarantiners who are unable to cook are relying on microwavable macaroni and Lean Cuisines

Food-Delivery Drivers Can’t Find a Place to Wash Their Hands

As restaurants close their bathrooms to the outside world, couriers worry shelter-in-place laws have put them at even greater risk than before