Grocery shopping would suck even if we didn’t also have to account for crowds. After all, just as my body demands I blow obscene amounts of cash in the name of its unholy wants and desires (i.e., frozen pizza), everyone else is dealing with the same shit, at the same time. As much as we all hate it, there’s simply not a whole lot we can do about it. Because between our 9-to-5 jobs and our busy weekends, Sunday afternoon appears to be the only time anyone can — and will — shop for food. Frankly, I’m starting to understand the appeal of Soylent. I’d even eat Brunchables for every meal if it meant I didn’t need to go grocery shopping.
it is sunday and i'm going to start a fight in this whole foods
— fraught (@LOUD_THERMOS) November 5, 2017
Must Read
“My Life As A Dad With HIV”
While the first few decades of HIV awareness dealt mostly with survival and prevention, relatively little has been said about the experiences of HIV-positive men living with the disease since — including when those men become fathers. Tierney Finster spoke to a couple of HIV-positive dads (and one who wants to become a father) about what life is like raising a child while also managing their illness. READ MORE
Cash Is Still King
Keeping real money on hand still has its benefits. To wit: It’s easy to just pay for a dinner out with your debit or credit card, but you might be fucking over your server in doing so. So why not tip in ol’ fashioned way? Tracy Moore’s collected a bunch of very good reasons why you should ultimately ditch the plastic and pay people in straight cash, bay bay.
Compact Disc Connoisseurs
Like tape geeks and vinyl freaks before them, there’s a growing community of people who spend their weekends hunting through garage sales for old CDs. Many don’t even listen to what they’re buying; instead, for them, collecting CDs is all about nostalgia — and showing them off.
Weed Assassin
In order to have a perfectly manicured lawn, you’ve basically gotta douse it all in poison. That’s not hyperbole: The #1 ingredient in Roundup Ready-to-Use Weed & Grass Killer III with Sure Shot Wand is Glyphosate, the subject of a recent lawsuit where a couple was awarded $2 billion after a jury concluded the herbicide caused their cancer. But hey, you’ve gotta keep up that neighborhood lawn clout somehow.
But what else is there to worry about in Roundup, besides the obvious cancer-causing chemical? Ian Lecklitner explains the mysteries of this super toxic lawn product.
A Film Critic On… ‘Shaft’
On what it is: “The 2019 Shaft, like the 2000 Shaft, stars Samuel L. Jackson as John Shaft II, the son of the Shaft from the Shaft movies of the early 1970s. Shaft II teams up with his estranged son, J.J. Shaft (Jessie T. Usher), to figure out who killed the young man’s close friend. Eventually, Richard Roundtree’s original Shaft also shows up, giving us three generations of Shaft.”
On the film’s jarring macho-ness in a decidedly ‘woke’ era: “We’ve gotten so used to being civil and caring about other people’s feelings. But not Shaft II! He sends his boy condoms as a gift when he’s a kid!”
On Sam Jackson going full ‘Sam Jackson’: “There’s a pure joy to his F-bombs, even when his character is enraged, that’s oddly life-affirming. It’s not just a command of language but a love of language that animates Jackson’s every fuck, shit and motherfucker. Even his cursing has swagger.”
On what Shaft has to say about being Black in America: “In Shaft II’s mind, anything that’s nuanced, considered or thoughtful is a betrayal of authentic blackness. Anything less is wimping out — or, in the vernacular of the new Shaft, becoming too much like your mom.”
On looking beneath the gay jokes: “But what’s lurking underneath the surface of Shaft’s flippant gags is an intriguing tension that the movie rarely acknowledges.”
Read more of Tim Grierson’s review of Shaft here — including his argument for why you should make an effort to watch Regina Hall, who stars as Shaft II’s ex and Shaft III’s mother, in her indie films instead.
Middle School’s Heart Attack Problem
In recent years, the number of middle school athletes dying of sudden cardiac arrest has doubled. While cardiac events and deaths have long been an issue at the high school and collegiate level, researchers have only recently begun studying their prevalence among middle schoolers. It’s unclear whether the rise is due to more children dying, or an increase in deaths being classified as cardiac arrest. Nevertheless, these statistics highlight the dangers that high-pressure sports can pose upon young athletes at a time where their bodies are rapidly changing.
Go On, Blow Yourself
Reaching for a nice, warm towel fresh out of the dryer is one of life’s greatest pleasures after a shower. But what if you could do away with the towel, and instead, put yourself in the dryer? Obviously, you can’t do that thanks to the danger factor (though I’m sure some have tried), but you could pretend by using a handheld hair dryer, right? Quinn Myers spoke to men who live and die by the nether region water-wicking abilities of the multitasking hair dryer, and if there’s one thing they’d like you to know, it’s that accidentally burning your junk isn’t a good enough reason not to experience the thrilling heat yourself.
Magdalene Taylor
Magdalene Taylor is a staff writer at MEL. She covers internet culture, sex and the online adult industry. She lives in Brooklyn but is from God's Country, Western Massachusetts.
