Happy Monday, you guys. I’ll admit to doing a lot of dumb shit when I was in high school, but I never, ever cheated—not like my colleague Andrew Fiouzi, who gleefully partook in a mafioso-like cheating ring at his high school. Clean as a whistle, this guy. But yeah, I did some dumb shit. Like when I inexplicably wrote “vagina” on the wall in the middle of Spanish class—and got caught finishing the second “a.” Or when I threw a water balloon at one of our guest speakers (the first female four-star general, no less!). Or when I thought it’d be super cool to get matching cornrows with my date for prom.
At least I didn’t cheat on a test, though. That would’ve been a bridge too far.
Must Read
“The Fast-Growing World of #FatRunners”
Being overweight doesn’t mean you can’t run a 5k, a 10k or even a marathon. People do it all the time. But if you’re carrying around a few extra pounds—and a smartphone with Instagram on it—it can feel like the running world you see online isn’t for you. That’s why a quiet revolution—#fatrunner—is taking place in our feeds, which is challenging the aesthetic expectations of runners and embracing the body-positivity movement. READ MORE
Dirty Sketches
I love a good comeback story. I also love a good X-rated doodle. Ryan Burton, aka Scuffed, has combined the two. He’s a former opiate addict who’s channeled his druggie past into something amazing: Erotic Etch A Sketching.
Learn how Scuffed “found zen” drawing bongs and boobs, how drug culture influences his art and the one thing that separates good Etch A Sketcher from a great one, here.
The Killing Fields
Genocide, slavery and mass social discrimination aren’t relics of the 20th century—oppression is still very much a reality for a variety of ethnic groups on almost every continent. Here are three examples of the crises taking place in the present, with major questions about how to stop the killings still left unanswered.
A Critic On… ‘Night School’
On what it is: “In Night School, Kevin Hart plays Teddy, a fast-talking grill salesman who, because of ridiculously convoluted circumstances, loses his job. He needs his GED to land meaningful employment — a development that sends him back to his old high school to attend night classes, which are run by Carrie (Tiffany Haddish), a straight-shooting teacher.”
On Hart knowing how to market himself: “Hart is a guy with his eye on the prize — he’s somebody who thinks in terms of his brand, and he makes no apologies about his strategy for global domination.”
On the Kevin Hart paradox: “It’s not that Hart isn’t funny — he can be a riot. But his movies are, for the most part, strangely, stubbornly unfunny.”
On wasting Haddish as Hart’s foil: “Watching Night School, you’d never know Haddish had just enjoyed a breakout role in last year’s surprise hit Girls Trip.”
On why Hart’s schtick works on stage, but not in the movies: “As good at stand-up as Hart is, he’s not great center stage in a film because he doesn’t allow for anything else to exist in his orbit—and he’s not fun enough company to be a true solo act.”
On Hart, and banana positioning: “He’s an appealing comic who wants to be a star but might be better as a second banana.”
Read the rest of Tim Grierson’s take on Nigh School here — including why the film’s supporting actors might be the best part of the movie, a quick rundown of other movies called Night School and the celebrities who suffer from the condition that sends Hart’s character back to school: Dyslexia.
Spice Up Your Life
It’s officially October, i.e., the time of the year when a single tree somewhere looks slightly less-green than usual, and Starbucks kicks its Pumpkin Spice Lattes into full gear. But what exactly is in every UGG-wearing sorority pledge’s favorite cup of Joe? Let’s have a look:
And here I thought lattes were just espresso and steamed milk. Nope! So WTF is carrageenan, and WTF is it doing in your drink? Let’s find out.
Kivin It To Her
Guys are always looking for ways to improve their pussy-eating skills. But considering the basic underpinnings of cunnilingus have remained the same for thousands of years, any gains we’ve made have been strictly incremental. Until now. That’s because of something called the “Kivin Method of Female Oral Stimulation,” and it’s blowing guys’—and, when you think about it, gal’s—minds.
When the Cat’s Away
Men like to tell their buddies that their wives/girlfriends are smothering, and all they’d really like is some alone time to do the things they want to do. This, my friends, is bullshit. Just listen to these Reddit bros as they revert into bored slobs, counting the minutes until their better half gets home.
Cheater’s Gonna Cheat
Cheating is on the rise. Not cheating in relationships—cheating in school. And with online programs that check for plagiarism like TurnItIn.com available to to teachers, students are going high-tech with their cheats. Like these innovations:
- Turning in a PDF instead of a Word document, which plagiarism checkers can’t read.
- Typing the same word 500 times in white font in order to meet a word-count minimum, which cheating tools can’t track.
- Putting a period or a letter in the spaces between every line in white font, which throws off the tool’s algorithm.
But that doesn’t mean students aren’t also using tried-and-true cheating methods. In fact, it’s often the least innovative that are the most successful:
- Sharing erasers with test answers on it.
- Whispering and talking during exams.
- Writing notes inside the labels of water bottles.
None of which is surprising to staff writer Andrew Fiouzi—he was the capo in his own highly sophisticated cheating operation. Read about the cheating he was doing when he was back in school, how else it’s changed since the internet has grown up and what’s being done about it, here.
Jeff Gross
Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.
