Man, dudes will hump just about anything in the galaxy, won’t they? Blue skin, “light” skin, three boobs, no boobs, shellfish — heck, even a literal man-eating alien.
It’s no surprise, then, that our obsession with alien sex dates back a thousand years. You have to wonder, though: If it’s taken us a thousand years for a human to get infected with “space clap,” what’s another thousand years going to bring?
Must Read
“Men in Kilts”
C. Brian Smith hasn’t worn a pair of pants in nearly two weeks. Instead, every morning for the last 13 days, he’s strapped on a kilt — despite having zero Scottish blood in his veins. Smith got the idea to go pantless after meeting a kilted gentleman living his best undie-free life on a previous assignment at the International Bear Convergence in Palm Springs. As it turns out, in the last 20 years there’s been a marked increase in kilted American men, albeit for varying reasons. But if there’s one thing they can all agree on, it’s that life is better when you’re “hangin’ free.” READ MORE
In Space, No One Can Hear You Fuck
Dudes have been fucking hot aliens pretty much since aliens were a thing, or at least, they’ve been trying to, as far back as the 10th century. Brian VanHooker charts the cultural history of this niche genre, from men and their moon princesses in pre-feudal Japan, to Bruce Willis getting busy with Leeloo Dallas and her Multi-Pass in the Fifth Element.
Would or Would Not
Teen boys at a high school in Maryland rightfully found themselves in deep shit this week after it was discovered they were rating their female classmates’ attractiveness on a scale of 1-to-10. Miles Klee writes that, not only is the 10-point scale a “trash system for virgins” that requires objectification on a decimal-by-decimal basis, but it doesn’t capture the reality of dating and hooking up, which comes down to a single question: Are you into the person or not?
That’s a Clown Resume, Bro
Does your resume have an “X factor”? You better goddamn hope it does. Because according to a survey of hiring managers, even if you’ve mastered all the format and keyword stuff to get past HR algorithms designed to separate the wheat from the chaff, it’s details, details, details that transforms you into a must-have hire. Tracy Moore spoke to some hiring managers herself to find out what those what exactly those details look like.
Not Ready-to-Wear
Conventional wisdom (and your mom) says that you should always wash new clothes before putting them on. But like, I want to put on these new jorts right now because they make my thighs look thicc, soooo… what to do? Unfortunately, washing them before wearing them is a bright idea, for three main reasons.
If Dad Sweatshirts Are Wrong, We Don’t Wanna Be Right
Dadcore is all the rage these days, and among the most exalted parts of this subgenre of the normcore style is the crewneck sweatshirt.
It’s comfortable, it’s warm and it looks great with basically everything. There’s only one, rather glaring problem with the crewneck sweatshirt popularized by dads everywhere: It, uh, makes you look like your dad.
We Need to Talk
“Marry me or we’re done.” “Get a job or you’re out.” “It’s me, or the dog.” Regardless of what the stakes are, the implication is always the same: if you don’t meet my demands, this relationship is over. So, how do you get someone to make a change without giving them an ultimatum? Thankfully, there are plenty of ways to get someone to do what you want without forcing them to make the choice between all and nothing. Isabelle Kohn asked a few relationship experts to share their best advice for doing so.
Turn Up the Base
So, you want to drink, but you don’t want to get too drunk. Do I have that correct? Okay, well, in order to pound beers all day without staggering around like Mickey Mantle coming out of Toots Shor’s, you’ll need a bass:
No, not a bass. A “base,” as in a food base. But before we explain how much food constitutes a good base for booze, it’s important to understand how a belly full of food can help prevent you from getting too drunk in the first place.
Jeff Gross
Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.
