Shirtless Driving, Dating at the Cemetery and the Perils of Having Sex in Public

Wasn’t this week a blast? Personally, my case of the Mondays is significantly less acute when they begin on a Wednesday. And while a short week might typically mean less content for me to beautifully package for your quick, in-case-you-missed-it consumption, that wasn’t the case this time. To wit:

For tears: There was nothing especially tissue-worthy this week, but I’m sure you can muster a tear or two once you learn how much being even a social drinker is costing you, and also why the concession-stand prices at your local multiplex are so damn high.

For lols: I still haven’t stopped laughing at this Miles Klee piece on why dudes insist on driving shirtless, and how shirtless driving will never, ever die.

For help: This week it was all about New Year’s resolutions, and how they affect your mind and body after a week, a month and a year — like when you opt to read more,  spend less money or finally decide to get in shape.

Must Reads

“Why Men Seek Out Life Coaching Instead of Therapy”
You know what sounds good to a guy trying to get his shit together? Coaching. You know what sounds like something a chick would do? Therapy. The perceived femininity of therapy is even an acknowledged problem within the profession, where two-thirds of mental-health outpatient visits are made by women. Instead, men are seeking out life coaches, a more accessible (read: cheaper) and sportier-sounding approach to mental health. In fact, traditional therapists have gone so far as to alter their practices and language to match the can-do attitude guys have gravitated toward. READ MORE

“Why We’re Still Weirded Out by Supportive Movie Husbands”
In Hollywood, there are only two types of supporting-actor movie spouses: The concerned wife, and the hostile husband. That’s what makes On the Basis of Sex — the new Ruth Bader Ginsburg biopic co-starring Armie Hammer as the Supreme Court Justice’s kind, nurturing husband Martin Ginsberg — so refreshing. But it’s also why the movie almost didn’t get made. READ MORE

“A Gentleman’s Guide to Public Sex”
Look, sex is great. Sex in public, if you’re into that sort of thing, is even better: The tight spaces; the battle to keep the decibel level at a minimum; and the heightened arousal that comes with the risk of getting caught. But take care before you opt to give it a go, because those risks might change your life — like how it could end up putting you on the sex-offender list. READ MORE

“Lucid Dreaming Devotees Tell Us Their Wildest Sleep Stories”
I’m sure you’re smart enough to know what “lucid dreaming” is all about. But have you ever heard what the actual experience is like? Quinn Myers reached out to a few lucid dreamers to hear their craziest lucid dreams to date, and also to learn a little strategy — that is, what they do to “wake up” in the dream world. READ MORE

Five Things We Learned This Week

1. When it comes to cleaning up puke after a party like New Year’s, vinegar is your best friend. Basically, remove any chunky bits with a microfiber chamois, paper towel or (yeesh) spoon, and then douse the offending article of clothing or piece of furniture with baking soda and a liberal amount of vinegar. Just try not to throw up again as you do so.
2. Getting random boners at the drop of a hat doesn’t have to ruin your day. We learned this week from Reddit that simply flexing a muscle — any muscle! — can cause that unwanted wood to retreat from whence it came. Down boy!
3. If you still haven’t been able to get back in the swing of things at work since taking time off for the holidays, consider going to sleep an hour earlier. We asked a bunch of CEOs what their tricks are for avoiding the post-holidays hangover, and doing things like making pre-vacation to-do lists, getting extra sleep and scheduling work lunches to complain about things sound easy enough to try out.
4. If a small-but-infuriating gaffe — like stepping in dog shit, or dumping coffee down your shirt on your way to work — threatens to send you over the edge, just remember that we’re all going to die. That’s how a funeral director we talked to deals with the problems in their life, at least. But seriously, folks, we spoke to a bunch of people who deal with bad shit for a living, and they had great advice for preventing yourself from melting down when something goes wrong.
5. The best place to take a date isn’t the movies, a fancy restaurant or an art museum. It’s obviously a cemetery. Think about it: Graveyard strolls are cheap and educational, they spark conversation and they give off an air of nihilism — basically everything millennials are into these days.

Quotes of the Week

Coming out as trans is hard enough in a world where many believe your struggle isn’t with your gender identity, it’s with mental illness. But Theo Sterngold, who came out as transmasculine, found that people — even supposed trans allies — have a very narrow-minded view of what it means to be a man.

You haven’t had good sex until you’ve leaked from your nipples. No, seriously, many women (and even some men) have reported experiencing galactorrhea, i.e., uncontrollable lactation, simply from high-quality fucking.

Sam Hughes, a fourth-year PhD student in psychology at the University of California, Santa Cruz, has known since middle school — subconsciously at first, then more overtly — that his sexual tastes skewed towards the cybernetic. As a Fundamentalist Evangelical Christian, though, Hughes’ desires weighed on him heavily; it wasn’t until he discovered a group of fellow kinksters in college that he became comfortable enough to begin talking about his attraction to robots.

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Jeff Gross

Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.