Okay, so I have a confession to make: I’ve never seen a single episode of Seinfeld. Still, I know enough about it that if I had to put together a word bank of themes and feelings associated with it, “sexy” wouldn’t be one of them. But maybe I’m just an uncultured little troll (or maybe I’m living my life perfectly?). Because despite the show officially signing off in 1998, numerous people have taken upon themselves to write new Seinfeld content. And some of those people feel that the show is pulsing with sexual undertones, and thus, they’ve created erotic Seinfeld fan fiction.
Gotta say, this snippet makes it sound pretty good:
Dave Arquette’s Indie Wrestling Redemption Tour
Pop culture fans best know David Arquette for three things: 1) His place in the Arquette acting clan (Patricia, Roseanna, etc.); 2) his role as lovable lug Dewey in the Scream series; and 3) his marriage to Scream co-star Courteney Cox. Wrestling fans, however, know him best for his bullshit 2000 run as WCW World Champion as part of the promotion of the bullshit movie Ready to Rumble. It’s a legacy the now 47-year-old actor-cum-wrestler is attempting to fix by putting his body back on the line by competing in small-time indie wrestling events all over the country.
Binder As Crop Top
It’s still hot out, and as we discussed earlier this week, not everyone is allowed to go topless. However, some trans and gender-nonconforming folks have found a compromise by wearing their chest binders as shirts or crop tops. Given that binders are typically used to conceal a part of one’s body, it can seem counterintuitive to wear one proudly. But according to Calvin Kasulke, that’s part of the joy in this true fashion statement.
The Silver Lining to the Pizzadilla
Those viral food videos in which someone spends an absurd amount of time and energy concocting gut-busting (and ungodly) food monsters — such as the “pizzadilla” — are widely hated. But there’s at least one positive to them: For guys with eating disorders, watching these monstrosities be brought to life helps recreate the experience of binge-eating, without any of the consequences. (Now, whether that’s completely healthy or not…)
A Chisel to the Back
Your back pain might feel like someone is driving a chisel into your spine, but having someone literally do so might actually be the solution. At the very least, it’s a method employed by Dr. Beau Hightower, the MMA’s favorite chiropractor. A former athlete himself, Hightower knows what it takes to get the pros back in the octagon as soon as possible. Call him a quack if you want, but he (and his fighters) claim that his methods are the very thing that keeps them upright.
Don’t Touch the Fucking Dishwasher
Sure, you might think you’re being helpful and working toward a greater household good when you re-do whatever chore your loving partner did poorly, but consider this: You actually look like an asshole. So what do you do — risk your neuroses or your relationship? If only it were that easy, explains Tracy Moore, who traces how the problem of re-doing chores highlights much bigger issues when it comes to the domestic sphere.
Your Lucky Number Is Bullshit
One method of those who repeatedly play the lotto is to use their “lucky numbers” over and over again. And every so often — including just the other day — a winner emerges who claims that it was their secret to success. But please, DO NOT let these fantasy scenarios fool you. You are never going to win the lotto — not even with your lucky numbers.
The Labor Revolution Will Be TikTok’d
Teachers in Las Vegas were striking this week, and they got a big digital boost with the help of their teenage students on TikTok. And though the teachers union has come to an agreement with their school district, the growing teen labor movement on the app has the potential to snowball.