There are two Michael Shannons. The first is an Oscar-nominated actor known for playing repressed, angry men in movies like The Shape of Water, Nocturnal Animals and 99 Homes. This guy has a penchant for muted sport coats, slicked-back hair and a clean-shaven face.
Shannon is undeniably a hot daddy with a sharp jawline, high cheekbones and dead eyes that give off the vibe that he’d either rail me or murder me — hopefully, both.
Recently, though, I’ve come to learn of a new side to Shannon. Less affected photos of the actor are making their rounds on Twitter, showing a different man from the one in tailored fits and beige button-ups. This guy loves color… and bunny hats.
the michael shannon collection is finally complete pic.twitter.com/UCglrwEYPK
— dilara (@arthoescinema) May 1, 2020
In the first photo, Shannon wears a bright grandma’s-couch floral button-down, cut-off denim shorts, tie-dyed Converse and striped socks. There’s also Holiday Shannon, wearing a festive sweater and sneakers that look like they’re from Costco to the Night Before premiere in 2016. The third is Shannon in a bunny hat. Each is pure perfection.
The final shot is my favorite, though. Shannon is on webcam in a too-tight hot-pink T-shirt with a unicorn and the words “Hawaii Dreams” sprawled across his bulging chest.
You think you’re ready but you’re not.
Tomorrow on STIR CRAZY: Michael Shannon. pic.twitter.com/Cb2HgAsbXI
— Josh Horowitz (@joshuahorowitz) April 29, 2020
This is quarantine Shannon as he recently appeared on Comedy Central’s YouTube series Stir Crazy With Josh Horowitz.
Is this Shannon just as hot as the suave movie star? “Seeing him in these ridiculous clothes is funny. He gives such an I don’t give a fuck vibe,” Dilara Elbir, 26, tells me. She tweeted photos of the actor’s eccentric style and captioned them, “The Michael Shannon collection is finally complete.”
It’s rare to see an esteemed actor look so unpolished. Oscar winners like Rami Malek, Eddie Redmayne and Mahershala Ali tend to stick to a rigid wardrobe of sleek, perfectly tailored suits with subtle embroidery and cohesive accessories.
Lucy Boynton (in Chanel) and Rami Malek (in Saint Laurent). More red carpet and commentary later on our site. #Oscars2020 #Oscars pic.twitter.com/akUsLxUFqY
— Tom and Lorenzo (@tomandlorenzo) February 10, 2020
Mahershala Ali buttoned up at the #Oscars and we swooned: https://t.co/8D8rBau2Mz pic.twitter.com/T29p9uKXNy
— Tom and Lorenzo (@tomandlorenzo) February 27, 2017
These stars might look like sexy Westworld robots and smell like Don Draper without the 1950s 8toxic masculinity, but some of us prefer a little grit in our leading men. “Be honest. If you saw a man in a snakeskin suit approach you on an average day, you’d be freaked out,” Brittany Luse, co-host of Quibi show The Nod, tells me.
I'm not going to write it, but will someone write a piece about how hot Michael Shannon is
— Brittany Luse (@bmluse) December 18, 2019
A longtime Shannon stan, Luse prefers to lust for a man who actually wears his clothes, rather than a guy who can’t bend over and risk tearing his Givenchy Haute Couture fit that costs as much as a monthly mortgage payment. “If you’ve ever seen Michael Shannon on a red carpet, he’s dressed in clothes that came from his house,” Luse says. We stan a sensible lank who physically exudes stability with a 6-foot-3 frame.
— karen han (@karenyhan) July 26, 2019
Shannon, a veteran stage and TV actor, gives off an I’d rather be getting high than walking this red carpet vibe more similar to scumbro comics Adam Sandler or Jonah Hill. This cadre might actually come out on top. Actors aren’t out walking red carpets anymore in three-piece suits. Movie premieres are postponed, barbers are closed and we’re all stuck inside rushing to Zoom meetings with unruly hair.
Scumbro is the style of quarantine, making Shannon and his penchant for loud patterns and disheveled hair the king of the pandemic fits. “He speaks to a certain type of spontaneity, and that is exactly what you want in a sexual partner,” Luse says. You absolutely know Shannon is hiding a relatable boyfriend dick under his frayed jorts.