I didn’t think it was possible to be cripplingly addicted to soda, but then I was told a story by a friend (who shall remain nameless) about how he used to bring a pair of two-liter bottles of Coca-Cola to class with him in high school — one for his morning classes, and one for after lunch, natch — and now, I don’t question anything.
Sugar is a helluva drug.
Must Read
“What It’s like to Be the Father of a Child with Autism”
While it’s long been easy for mothers of autistic children to find support — and much research has focused on their experience — there’s virtually none for dads. That’s likely because of the expectation that fathers aren’t the primary caregivers for kids with special needs, leaving the dads that are to suffer in silence. C. Brian Smith spoke to a number of fathers of autistic children about the dearth of support, resources and networking for men like them, and why that’s just the tip of the iceberg of the challenges they (and their children) face. READ MORE
What They Wore
Why would a rape survivor hold on to the clothes they were wearing on the worst night of their lives? Joseph Longo spoke with two women and a man who, for their own powerful reasons, can’t, won’t or don’t want to throw out the everyday reminder of the trauma they experienced.
Don’t Cuck Me, Bro
Two months after he found out his wife was cheating on him in 2017, Kevin Howard didn’t file for a divorce — he sued his wife’s boyfriend for turning him into a cuckold. Two years later, Howard prevailed in court, and the wife’s boyfriend owes him $750,000. If that sounds crazy, what’s crazier is that Howard built his case on a law from the 19th century. And you know what’s even crazier? North Carolina, Howard’s home state, has awarded a number of judgements in recent years in excess of six and seven figures for turning their citizens into cucks.
Addicted to Soda
No one would confuse soda with opiates when it comes to addiction. But perhaps they should, considering that even after pre-diabetes, a mouth full of cavities, a swelling gut and a decline in health, some people still can’t stop chugging the sweet stuff. Here’s a number of soda addicts reflecting on why it’s so hard for them to quit.
Put Down the Scissors
Don’t cut up that expired credit card just yet — there are dudes out there that’ll pay top dollar for your “worthless” plastic.
‘His Dark Materials’ Ain’t No ‘Game of Thrones’
Sorry, prestige TV fans — if you were hoping that His Dark Materials was going to fill that GoT-shaped hole in your Sunday nights, Rob Bricken’s got bad news for you: It won’t. The good news, however, is that’s actually a really good thing.
Super Busy, or Super Disorganized?
If you’re not sleeping, you’re probably out there grinding, right? Working so hard, day in and day out, that you couldn’t possibly work any harder? Yeah, well, you’re likely working that hard because you have to make up for the fact that you’re such a disorganized mess.
Five Stories You Might’ve Missed This Weekend
- “Toward a Unified Theory of Mark Zuckerberg’s Haircut” Is it a tribute to Caesar, his historical obsession? A sad attempt at #adulting? Or a petty fuck-you to us plebes?
- “Yes, Kanye’s New ‘Bootleg’ Merch Is Ugly. It’s Also Brilliant.” When it comes to streetwear, the Jesus Is King rapper is more ahead of the curve than we think.
- “Why the Darkest — and Funniest — Dark Comedies Are Coming from New Zealand” Taika Waititi’s Jojo Rabbit is just one example — but you can’t miss The Casketeers, Dark Tourist or The Breaker Upperers, either.
- “I Tried An Exfoliating Foot Peel to Transform My Feet, and It Was One the Grossest Things I’ve Ever Done” Hope you like dead skin, because there’s going to be buckets of it.
- “What I’ve Kinda, Sorta Learned Posting Depression Memes for a Living” “The saddest memes I’ve ever posted were after a bad breakup,” Instagram’s resident meme-God @Sonny5ideUp tells us. “My dad even texted me to see if I was okay.”
And Now, A Tale About Charlie XCX Signing a Douche
The guy who had Charli XCX sign his douche doesn't regret a thing.
"If you asked me before the Manchester show, yes. But now, absolutely not. Knowing I have Charli’s love and support is good enough for me."https://t.co/DkycrKwtZW
— Joseph Longo (@josephlongo_) November 4, 2019
Jeff Gross
Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.
