It’s hilarious to think that the porn industry ever considered virtual reality to be “the future of porn.” Porn is one of those things that doesn’t need to be flashy to be good, kinda like tacos and flip-flops. Sometimes less is more, ya know?
Think about it. You’re sitting there, ready to stroke one out and you’re presented with two choices: Do you fire up Pornhub and surf the “amateur” section like every other day of your life, or do you break out the Oculus Rift, strap that heavy shit to your face and then watch an awkwardly acted 3D cringe-athon that makes it painfully clear that the producers have no real idea how to adapt porn to work in VR?
The choice is clear, folks.
Must Read
“The Teens Who Listen to ‘Mallwave’ Are Nostalgic for an Experience They’ve Never Had”
Imagining the experience of being in a mall when you’re too young to remember their heyday is hard enough. Imagining what a mall might sound like — and more specifically, what it might sound like completely empty and abandoned — is even harder. But that’s exactly what the teen fans of “mallwave” are doing. The lo-fi subgenre of vaporwave sounds exactly like you might expect: Soft, calming, ambient sounds and low-quality synthesizers that harken back to a time its listeners never knew, but are nostalgic for just the same. READ MORE
Benis: Not Just a Rural Village in Iran
The word “penis” is wack. It’s lame. It’s boring. It’s played out. Which is what makes neologisms like “benis,” “bepis” and “pebis” so much better!
Or maybe millennials just really, really love memes and misspelling terms for human anatomy.
Going Straight
I don’t need to tell you how cool it used to be to get drunk in high school. You were there! You remember. Things have changed a bit, however, since the days when we used to get wasted during seventh period or partied at the moon tower. These days, it’s becoming cool not to drink. Here’s why teens are living the dry life.
Taco Life
Here in L.A., we’re incredibly lucky that there’s a bomb taco truck on nearly every corner thanks to the 3.5 million-plus Mexicans who’ve brought their culture and cuisine to a city they now call home. Even more incredible than how accessible tacos are, is how inexpensive it all is — for six bucks you can eat practically all the asada, al pastor and lingua you can handle. Which got us wondering: How do taco truck operators keep something so delicious, so cheap?
Analyze This
It can be intimidating the first time you see a therapist. Should I lead the conversation? Do I have to talk about my mother? If I don’t cry, is it even working? All good questions, but before you get to all of that, here’s what happens the first time you get your head shrunk.
Virtual Real-Titty
I have to be honest, I didn’t even know VR porn was a thing. But as recently as 2017, it was hailed as the “future of porn.” In reality (get it?), however, strapping on a heavy pair of goggles just to get your nut on doesn’t work nearly as well as the industry thought it might.
Running Away From the Pain
According to a recent study, there’s “increasing evidence” that working out can help protect against depression. Nowhere on the internet is the healing power of exercise more apparent than on the subreddit r/EOOD — Exercise Out of Depression — an online community fighting to escape the darkness one mile and one squat at a time.
Girl On Girl
Dudes are weird, man. Catch your GF doing the business with another guy, and it’s a reason to go. Catch her with another girl, though, and it’s HOT AF.
Isn’t that… cheating, too? You’d think so, but Madeleine Holden talked to a bunch of guys who disagree because being cheated on with a woman doesn’t feel as personal (and it’s the stuff of their porno dreams).
Jeff Gross
Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.
