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Dick Cages, Lame Horror-Movie Dads and How to Marry a Princess

Yes, you read that correctly. Dick cages. That is, a cage for your penis. C. Brian Smith spoke to a bunch of guys who are, at this very second, wearing a miniature jail around their johnson, and it’s the kind of story that’ll make you stop and think.

Look, I’ll never be someone to kink shame, and if sending your hog to prison is the kind of thing you’re into, more power to you. But that doesn’t mean I understand it. For these guys, though, it works, so who am I to judge.

Here’s that story and everything else from today, in case you missed it.

Must Read

The Men Who Survived ‘Locktober’ Are About to Finally Take off Their Chastity Belts
There’s forgoing masturbation for No Nut November, and then there’s this: Locking your penis in a chastity cage with an “anti-pullout” device as part of the “Locktober challenge.” And there are myriad reasons some men are going to this extreme: From those who enjoy the dom/sub play with their “keyholders,” to guys with low libidos and others who simply enjoy the camaraderie within the Locktober community. And now, with the month coming to a close, they’re getting excited for whatever challenge comes next. READ MORE

Lame Dads

Are you watching The Haunting of Hill House on Netflix? It’s pretty great, and pretty damn scary. But one problem Tim Grierson has with it is a knock he’s found true about other horror films, too: The dad character is always an ineffectual wimp.

Breaking the Bad News

Seeing the doctor sucks. I know it, you know it, and it’s all because getting bad news sucks. But there are ways to make the prospect of a shitty diagnosis suck less. Like:

  • Actually getting tested (it’s not going to get better the longer you ignore it)
  • Distracting yourself while you wait for the test results (trying to be the strong, silent type isn’t recommended)
  • Having someone with you when you get the news (there’s safety in numbers)
  • Waiting a beat before making any decisions (ask how long you can take before deciding what to do next)
  • Looking for the best of the best (the best surgeon, oncologist, cardiologist, etc.)
  • Coping with your “new normal” (see a therapist, talk to your friends, join a support group)

Get all the details — including how to break your bad news to family and friends — here.

So You Want to Marry a Princess

Good news, guys: Real-deal princess Ayako of Japan is single and ready to mingle. Ah shit, I had my information wrong — she’s actually renouncing her royal status to marry commoner. Sounds like he beat you to it. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be prepared for the next time a princess hits the market. In fact, go with what works — in this case, all the savvy things Ayako’s groom, Kei Moriya, did to win her heart.

I’m Not Crying, You’re Crying

There’s nothing wrong with shedding a few tears now and then. It’s cathartic! It prevents us from being emotionless monsters! It relieves stress! But if you find yourself crying during commercials — like the tearjerker above — seek help. I’m just joshin’ you. That’s actually quite normal, considering men are brimming with repressed emotions. And repressed emotions are exactly what commercials prey on, through a psychological trick they call “elaboration.”

From the Way Back Dept.

Today, Apple released their latest and greatest operating system for the iPhone, iOS 12.1. I know, I know: Seen one iPhone OS you’ve seen them all. But one feature that might pique your interest is the release of new emojis. And by emojis, I mean feet:

You might think that this foot-related news would transform the text-based communication of foot fetishists the world over. But as we found out earlier this year, guys who worship the almighty foot are surprisingly “meh” when it comes to feet emoji.