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Charger Daddies, Condom Moms and the Hole-Digging, Poop-Making Iguanas on Florida’s Sh*t List

Leapin’ Florida shit-lizards, it’s a brand-new day, full of impeachment proceedings, an extremely thirsty Frankie Muniz and bad Twitter takes:

It’s like he read Miles Klee’s piece on the men filling their diapers over Greta Thunberg and was like, “Hold my Libertarian beer.” Hate to see it.

Must Read

“The Charger Daddies Will Stop at Nothing to Make Sure Your Phone Is Juiced”
You know how some Uber drivers will have a plethora of charging options available for your phone? Charger Daddies are kinda like that, except the Mini USB, -C and Lightning connectors are so their overnight guests don’t have to suffer the panic and indignity of waking up to a low-battery alert. According to these purveyors of connective juice, it’s the least they can do — and guests on the receiving end of this courtesy rave about the practice. READ MORE

Impeachment Fever

If you’re hoping and praying that the end is nigh for ol’ Donald, you best check your temperature. Sure, Trump looks more fucked than usual, but we’ve seen this movie before. As Miles Klee writes, while it’s okay to feel a modicum of excitement, don’t count your chickens. Because if you never get your hopes up, you can’t be disappointed.

I’m Not Crying at Work, You’re Crying at Work

Crying on the job is a surprisingly frequent occurrence, and the data suggests that, in bathroom stalls, service corridors and stairwells everywhere, workplace blubbering might be on the rise. It’s a side-effect of our fast-paced, digital working environment, say the experts, and it can come with tremendous consequences — for both the crier and their co-workers.

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

Don’t be a prude when it comes to talking to your kids about condoms. Be Amy Poehler in Mean Girls:

Your sons will be well-informed, sex-positive kids as a result.

The Lizard Population is TOO DAMN HIGH

Florida is a weird place, man. Maybe it’s the heat. Well, it’s definitely the heat that’s turned green iguanas into a massively invasive species — more massive than the massive shits they take everywhere, or the sidewalk-eroding holes they dig. Iguanas have become such a problem in the Sunshine State that it’s now your sacred duty (not the mention the law) as a weird-ass Floridian to stomp, bash or otherwise shoot them out of existence.

Power Ballad to the People

?Do you hear the people sing?

Singing the song of angry men?

It’s a protest anthem from Hong Kong, to Wisconsin, to the Ukraine of people 

who will not be slaves again.

When the beating of you heart

echoes the beating of the drums,

there is a life about to start

when tomorrow comes! ?

Stream On

Now that every cable network, media company and tech behemoth has their own streaming app, is it time to finally cut the cord, or do the sheer number of services you’ll be forced to pay for make the endeavor cost-prohibitive? We did the math.

Just Do It

You’re never too old to start running. In fact, more people than ever before over the age of 50 are entering 5Ks and marathons — here’s how they’re doing it.