A History of the ‘Dump Him’ Friend, Shit Dick Summer and a Eulogy for Everyone’s Favorite Low Bridge, the Can Opener

Howdy, there. I’d like to take a brief moment to implore you to check out this week’s Hey, Man podcast, and I’ve got some reasons: For starters, Hey, Man is a particularly awesome podcast about men and masculinity — two subjects very near and dear to our hearts. Also, it’s recorded in Hey, Man co-founder and licensed therapist Avi Klein’s office — on the couch, no less — which is pretty hilarious.

But most importantly — and most selfishly — Hey, Man’s special guest this week is none other than my boss, MEL’s Editor-in-Chief, Josh Schollmeyer. And setting aside the fact that I’ve been told in no uncertain terms that I’ll be fired if I don’t tell you to listen — or remind everyone about the keen intellect we’ve got on the ones and twos around here — it happens to be a pretty interesting spiel about the intersection of media and manhood. Of course, I’ve heard it about a thousand times in the four-plus years I’ve been working here, but to you, it’ll be new and exciting.

Go on, give it a listen. Help me keep my job, pls.

Must Read

“A Cultural History of the ‘Dump Him!’ Friend”
The “Dump Him” Friend — i.e., the naysaying female friend who’s openly critical of her friend’s romantic partner — isn’t as well-known as other pop-culture tropes. But they exist all the same, in films like Toy Story 4 and Midsommar as well as in TV shows, books and even music. And while the “Dump Him” Friend may not be as conspicuous as say the “Mary Sue” or the “Odd Couple,” its influence IRL — and perhaps more importantly, online — is understated. Madeleine Holden investigates where the trope comes from, and why “Dump Him” friends are so unrealistic. READ MORE

Dub v. Sub

Don’t look now, but there’s a war going on. No, not that war. Not the other one, either. I’m talking about the war between anime fans over whether their art should be “dubbed,” as in voice-dubbed, or “subbed,” as in subtitled.

It’s a war where no one wins, though, because there’s arguments for both. That, however, hasn’t stopped the two camps from going toe-to-toe.

Shit Dick Summer

For too long, bottoms have been shamed by shit-dick-terrified tops for not douching or cleaning their assholes completely, and it’s 100 percent not our vibe. No wonder, then, that an online crusade against anal douching was officially kicked off in August in protest:

Nicknamed “Shit Dick Summer,” the latest battleground in the ongoing bottom-rights revolution, was an attempt to even out the power dynamics in gay sexual relationships. And though summer may be over, it’s an, um, movement that is far from, um, ending.

Why Are Concert Tickets So Effing Expensive?!?!

These days, trying to see your favorite band for less than a car payment is goddamned near impossible. But believe it or not, even at $100+ bucks, you’re actually getting a bargain.

The New Company Men

Last week we spoke Ray Sawhill, a 65-year-old magazine man, about what it’s like to have worked for only one company for 30 years. Not that strange when you consider that, for Sawhill’s generation, staying put was the way to go if you valued job security. These days, though, it’s becoming harder and harder to find people willing to stay with one company for three years, let alone 30. But our generation’s company men do exist, and when it comes to their job, they have their reasons for never asking if the grass is greener somewhere else.

Opioids and Dentists

Careful, next time you send your kid to the dentist: The seemingly routine wisdom tooth extraction is one of the most common ways kids are getting hooked on opioids. It’s a particularly bitter pill (pun unavoidable) to swallow that nearly 6 percent of teens and young adults given opioids after an extraction become addicted, considering that there’s a readily available, non-addictive alternative.

Hawaii on Fire

Things are heating up on Hawaii, and I’m not talking about the islands’ numerous active volcanoes. In recent months, it would appear that Hawaii’s onslaught of tourists and scientists have finally worn out their welcome in the eyes of the indigenous population. And now the locals are fighting to take back their state.

R.I.P., the Can Opener

We’re gathered here, together, to honor a friend whose mere existence touched so many lives, and provided a joy that will be remembered forever. I’m referring, of course, to the “Can Opener,” a Durham, North Carolina bridge that, at 11’ 8” in height, ripped open so many box trucks that it spawned a decade’s worth of viral videos. To the Can Opener’s many fans: We hurt with you.

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Jeff Gross

Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.