holiday-hot-takes
Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider Is Better Than Champagne
It’s simple really: One tastes great and embodies seasonal cheer, the other tastes like a country club feels and embodies capitalistic snobbery
Ban Santa from Any Commercial Intended for an Adult
I’m a grown man, I don’t need a large magical elf from the North Pole to help me decide whether or not I should buy a Chevy
Ribbons Can Go Fuck Themselves
What, the festive wrapping paper wasn’t enough? Eat shit, you plastic garbage
Your Beautifully Decorated Christmas Cookies Taste Like Shit
Sugar cookies aren’t any good to begin with. Somehow, though, they’re even worse when lacquered with festive frosting
