Tyler (an alias), 36, is watching impatiently as his wife chats her way through a routine Zoom meeting with more than 20 colleagues. Suddenly, he has a lightbulb moment. He crawls underneath her desk, pokes his head between her legs and attempts to put his tongue to use.
Almost immediately, he hears a series of goodbyes. Believing the meeting is over, he pops his head up from between her legs and says, “It would have been so hot if I made you cum right in front of them all without them even realizing it.”
Unbeknownst to him, a number of her coworkers are still on the call.
His wife slams her laptop shut, but to no avail — her colleagues heard what he said and are now sending her messages wondering if he was serious or playing some kind of juvenile prank. Tyler and his wife go with the latter, and fortunately, the chatter eventually dies down.
The next day, Tyler posts the whole story on Reddit and it promptly goes viral.
TIFU By playing a sex game with my wife in a zoom call from tifu
Tyler tells me that going down on his wife in that moment was a long time coming and can be traced back seven years, long before the coronavirus pushed a large sector of people to work from home and hold meetings on Zoom. “The men that I worked with were much older than me, and I noticed a few of them were getting divorced,” he explains. “I wanted to learn from their mistakes, and almost every man I spoke to claimed the spark was lost or there was no more spice in the relationship. In short, they’d grown bored of each other. I love my wife, and I didn’t want that to happen to us, so I decided that we needed to mix up our relationship and keep things exciting.”
That mindset — combined with his wife voicing her “exhibitionism” fetish — drove them to public sex. “I’ve gone down on her in more public places than I can count,” Tyler brags. And while public sex during the coronavirus is both alive and thriving, Zoom meetings present a way to engage in public sex in, well, private. “When I saw her on the Zoom call, I knew it would be the perfect opportunity,” Tyler says. “Before this point, we always had to be careful that no one else was around — it was just the risk of getting caught that made things hot. This time was different: Now, I could get her off directly in front of people, and they’d never know.”
Tyler and his wife are far from the only ones who’ve had this idea. On Pornhub, the recent increase in people working from home has inspired a wave of under-the-table, Zoom-sex videos, like “HE IS HORNY AS FUCK DURING ZOOM CONFERENCE SO I HELP HIM WITH A BLOWJOB” or “FUCKING MYSELF WITH A DILDO DURING ZOOM CLASS.”
On Reddit, there’s now Zoom-inspired erotica that plays on this exact same premise. One reads, “Jenni had already finished her work for the day, but Paul was still in his office on what appeared to be a never-ending Zoom call with his coworkers. Sick of the constant bickering and lack of sex, Jenni decided to surprise Paul and reignite the spark they had in the early days of their relationship. She stripped naked and tiptoed quietly into Paul’s office, making sure to stay just out of view of the camera. She smiled coyly as Paul attempted to maintain his ‘work face.’ As she got into position under his desk, she noticed he was only wearing a pair of boxers to go with his button up shirt and tie. ‘Thanks quarantine!’ she thought to herself as she took in the sight of his enormous cock bulging in his boxers.”
As Tyler hinted at, the drive for many Zoom exhibitionists is simply, the riskier the sex, the better the reward. “Just like other social-media-type challenges that can be risky, getting your partner off sexually during a Zoom call can be the ultimate temptation, because that risk can heighten sexual tension and thereby orgasmic release,” explains clinical sexologist and certified sex coach Sunny Rodgers. “When I asked my clients if they remember how they felt doing something sexual that could be a bit dangerous, such as having sex in a public place, their feedback was all similar: ‘Exciting, hot, incredible and mind-blowing.’”
“Fear, anticipation and the possibility of getting caught can intensify emotional responses and can act as fuel for pleasurable sensations,” Rodgers continues. “The possibility of an intense pleasurable reward makes the risk feel worth the adventure.” Rodgers asked 10 of her clients if they’d engaged in under-the-table action during recent Zoom chats, and two (one man and one woman) admitted to doing so. “Both shared that they didn’t get caught, but they couldn’t concentrate on the other call participants while it was happening.” she says. “This brought initial stress, but ultimately, neither regretted doing it because they admitted the climax felt a lot better than the usual orgasm felt during Zoom-less sex.”
But of course, the bigger the reward, the bigger the risk, and putting your coworkers in a position where they could be nonconsensually exposed to sexual actions between you and your partner is a serious violation of trust — and potentially even the law. “The consequences of getting caught could be quite serious, considering HR company policies and indecent exposure laws,” Rodgers says. “I do believe coworkers wouldn’t appreciate it. Sex is still a pretty taboo topic for many.” A University of Miami professor was recently fired for sharing his screen during a Zoom class and accidentally revealing a bookmark for “busty college girls,” which, while creepy, is far, far tamer than receiving a beej in front of your unwitting coworkers.
For those on the receiving end of that beej, however, such warnings are exactly what feeds into their impulse. “I’ve never cheated myself, but a lot of cheaters say that what really pushed them to keep going was the ‘wrongness’ of betraying their partner or the risk associated with it,” Tyler says. “Me and my wife are doing the same thing, but in a way that we’re not hurting each other, as cheaters do. The feeling of ‘wrongness’ comes from doing something sexual in public, and the risk comes from knowing we could (and have) been caught at any time.”
Ian Lecklitner
Ian Lecklitner is a staff writer at MEL Magazine. He mostly writes about everyone's favorite things: Sex, drugs and food.
