Why Nobody Criticizes Millennials Like a Millennial, ‘Tender Sports Touches’ and How Juuling Is Like Heroin

The millennials are turning on each other over the right to hate themselves, and it sure makes me glad to be on the cusp of Gen Z. Sure, it’s only a matter of time before my generation is eating its own tail, but for now, I’m gonna sit back, relax and enjoy not being the target. Really, though, self-hating millennials should be using their energy against the real enemy: Those damn Boomers.

Must Read

“Fellas, Is It Gay to Save the Planet?”
Despite the fact that our ongoing Anthropocene extinction will eventually destroy concepts of gender entirely, many men see recycling or other Earth-friendly activities as inherently feminine. As Madeleine Holden explains, this leads some to aggressively shirk the practice entirely, whether it be intentionally dumping recyclables in the trash or even shouting “fag” at bicyclists from their coal-rolling trucks. How did we get here, and how can we convince the fellas that we need a planet to live on? READ MORE

Just One More Hit

Juul, the ubiquitous e-cigarette, has been marketed as a healthier alternative to cigarettes, and a better, simpler means of getting your fix. No more stench, no more smoke breaks — hell, you can surreptitiously rip it at your desk. But what’s made it such an effective nicotine delivery device is also what makes it so hard to kick — even for those who’ve gone through the hell of withdrawing from much harder substances.

Fake News: Brendan Fraser Edition

Long-Distance Long Con

Conceptually, paying more for long-distance calls makes sense. It’s like shipping: If it’s gotta go further, it probably costs more! But now that we’ve got all this big technology allowing us to, for example, receive a digital bank deposit of $10,000 from a prince in the UAE in under five minutes, long-distance charges are all but obsolete. But were they ever more than an opportunity for phone companies to rob people blind in the first place?

Sports, But Make It Gentle and Affectionate

You know what baseball needs? More kissin’, huggin’ and rubbin’ all up on each other. Fortunately, there are Twitter accounts dedicated to documenting all the cute moments that happen between players in sports: The high-fives, the chest bumps, and of course, the bear hugs. Aww!

Pop Quiz, Car Guy

You’re gullible AF, and you’re worried your loyal mechanic is ripping you off. How can you be sure that your garage isn’t taking advantage of your lack of knowledge?

A) Like doctors, mechanics are bound to the Hippocratic Oath, meaning they’re required to be completely honest.

B) They’re running a great deal on blinker fluid, so if they’re charging a little extra on the other services, ain’t no thang.

C) They explain, visually and verbally, what’s broken on your car and what they’re fixing, and the prices they quote for parts are similar to those online.

And the answer is… C!

Allow Jeff Gross to explain all the ways to find a mechanic you trust and not get ripped off.

A ‘Simp’ Explanation

Simp is an acronym for “Sucka Idolizing Mediocre Pussy,” and it’s been used as an insult for decades, particularly in hip hop. In the last year, though, simp has been on the rise among red-pillers, who are now applying the term to basically anyone who doesn’t consider women to be lying evil whores.

Not Another Teen Movie Myth

Movies about high school would have you think there is nothing more shameful than being single. The sad, depressed loner is all sad and depressed — that is, until he gets a girlfriend. But in reality, the data shows that single teens are actually a lot happier than their coupled-up counterparts. Chris Bourn explains what teen movies get wrong about the high school dating scene.

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Magdalene Taylor

Magdalene Taylor is a staff writer at MEL. She covers internet culture, sex and the online adult industry. She lives in Brooklyn but is from God's Country, Western Massachusetts.