If you spend much time on the internet, you know the world’s most important questions are asked on Twitter, land of the completely sane and normal. Just last week, cyberspace was blessed with one of the most imperative queries of our time: In summary, why do farts feel so warm if they’re released at body temperature? Or in simpler terms, why are my farts hot?
Oddly enough, real, highly educated proctologists weren’t interested in discussing blazing flatulence with me, but the simple answer is that our standard 98.6-degree reading is for core body temperature, not skin temperature. As a 2010 thermoregulation study explains, “Skin temperature rises and falls with the temperature of a patient’s surroundings,” meaning your ass crack should be significantly cooler than a toot that was just baking inside your body.
There’s also a reason why some farts feel warmer than others, and it has to do with the velocity at which they’re expelled. A powerful rectal shout pushes the sultry gas out and away from your body quicker than a measly anal whistle — therefore, forceful farts are less likely to feel hot than silent-but-deadlies.
There are a couple other factors that can impact the perceived temperature of a fart as well, including snug pants, which make your ass look fantastic but also hold that warm gas against your body, and spicy foods, which contain compounds that make your hole zone more sensitive. Even foods that your body doesn’t particularly agree with can increase the temperature of your farts, since the extra bacterial fermentation that happens in your GI tract can produce additional heat.
If your farts feel too hot for your liking, eating fiber-rich foods like fruits, vegetables, beans and whole grains can increase the force behind them, helping to push that warm air away from your relatively cool cheeks. Drinking plenty of water can also help cut down your gas expulsion altogether, which obviously means less unwanted warmth down there.
That said, hot farts usually aren’t anything to worry about — they’re supposed to be at least kinda hot, so just be happy they don’t come out freezing cold.