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The Millennials Pretending to be High Schoolers, A High Time for Sibling Rivalry and the History of Coin-Op Cigarette Machines

I gotta say, the most incredible thing about today’s “must read” isn’t that millennials are cosplaying as high schoolers in an effort to relive their youth. It’s more that millennials are still using Facebook. It’s selling your data! It’s toxic! It’s full of dead people!

Anyway, here’s “Wonderwall.”

Must Read

“The Grown-Ass Millennials Role-playing as High Schoolers on Facebook”
“A Group Where We Pretend to Be in Middle School” has more than 6,000 members on Facebook, one of dozens of such groups where members role-play as middle or high school students. These types of groups have surged in popularity in recent years, partly because of Facebook’s ambition to become a localized social network. But unlike Boomer role-play groups, members of the middle school and high school version aren’t mocking teenagers. They’re doing the exact opposite. READ MORE

‘Tis the Season for Brother-on-Brother Crime

Jo and Boris Johnson. Baseball’s Brian and Colin Moran. The Roy Bros. on Succession. If you’ve got a brother, it’s time to betray him, because nothing says 2019 like vicious sibling rivalry.

Doug, The Original Sadboi

For a generation of 1990s kids with low-key depression, Nickelodeon’s Doug — with his humdrum suburban existence, constant daydreaming and festering hormones — was like an Elliott Smith song personified. This was certainly the case for our very own Andrew Fiouzi.

Coin-Op Cigarette Machines, A History

Whether or not you’re a smoker, there’s always been something mystical about the cigarette vending machine. And while they’re all but gone today — a sign of the times, no doubt — you’d almost never be able to find a bar without one, even as late as the 1990s.

Wrestling with a Heart

If the WWE is pro wrestling’s heel (with its history of racism, sexism and steroid abuse), that makes indie promotion ACTION Wrestling — where every event benefits a different charity — the sport’s ultimate babyface. David Bixenspan chronicles how, faux fisticuffs notwithstanding, helping others has become ACTION’s raison d’etre.

Head Pain = Dick Trauma

To many, professional football players are the ultimate example of male virility. But as it turns out, they could be quietly dealing with yet another side effect from the multiple concussions they’ve received that, um, softens this image somewhat: Their dicks might not work.

It’s All in the Mix

Mixologists agree: The best soda is a “suicide” soda.