5-9-19

The Gay ‘Sides’ Who Aren’t Tops or Bottoms, DIYers Hacking their Weak Showerheads and the Moms Helping Their Sons Quit Fapping

I submit to you, there are few things worse in this world than a low-pressure showerhead. If that water isn’t descaling me like the Commando 450, what’s even the point?

So I, for one, applaud the DIY dudes getting Xtreme on their anemic showerheads for a flow with a bit more oomph — water conservation laws be damned. There’s only so many weak morning showers a man can take before he loses it completely.

Must Read

“Meet the ‘Sides,’ Gay Men Who Don’t Like Anal Sex”
In the gay community, there are “tops,” and there are “bottoms.” But there are also the guys who have sworn off anal sex for good. They call themselves “sides,” and as a bloc of Gaydom, sides haven’t had nearly the visibility their pitching-and-catching brethren do, considering many gay apps and hookup sites like Grindr don’t allow users to identify as such. Instead, they’re connecting IRL — and C. Brian Smith, a side himself, caught up with one such group at a recent MeetUp in L.A. READ MORE

Pika Pika

Don’t let Detective Pikachu’s comedy designation fool you — for screenwriters Dan Hernandez and Benji Samit, turning a Pokémon character into a blockbuster was a process they went about soberly and with a serious passion for the source material. Tierney Finster recently talked to the duo about stanning Pokémon, why they’d love to bring Metroid to the big screen too, the fight Twitter is attempting to stage between Pikachu and Sonic the Hedgehog and more.

Extreme Pressure

Saving water is universally good, and federal and state laws that prohibit obscene showerhead flow rates are an important tool in the fight for a sustainable water supply. But at the same time, there’s “reasonable” flow, and then there’s the dribble of water many apartment-complex landlords provide, cheap assholes that they are. So without further ado, here’s how the dudes of YouTube are hacking their showerheads in the name of perfect water pressure.

What A Barrel of Monkeys

Join Miles Klee as he takes you on a journey deep into the great male obsession with barrels. No, seriously — for thousands of years, if dudes weren’t living in them, they were wearing them; and if they weren’t wearing them, they were getting in them and traveling over waterfalls. It’s weird.

Why Can’t We Be Friends?

Befriending your boss comes with some benefits: A fast lane to career advancement, the possibility of better/easier work, and well, a new friend. Unfortunately, it also comes with some drawbacks, like the fact that you might run the risk of coworkers trying to take you and your boss down for nepotism, not to mention the dead fish you’ll likely find in your desk drawer. So is it really worth it? Yeah, kinda — just remember to set some boundaries.

Mommie Dearest

In our latest installment of “Bad Moms,” Tracy Moore profiles Deborah Nelson Mathers Briggs, aka Eminem’s mom, a woman who, if you judge from Em’s lyrics alone, sounds about as narcissistic and negligent as a mother can get:

  • “My fuckin’ bitch mom suing for 10 million”
  • “I just found out my mom does more dope than I do”
  • “Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me? / Well guess what, I am dead, dead to you as can be!”
  • “My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn’t”

Sheesh.

Not only that, but according to Em, she would sprinkle valium in his food when he was a kid, too. But if you ask her (and a publisher did, considering she managed to put out a memoir, My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem), her only crime was loving her son too much.

Subbing in the Seltzer

If you’ve ever been hooked on soda or booze, you’re well aware that those addictions are two of the hardest to kick. But what you might not be aware of is that seltzer, i.e., carbonated water, makes a great low-key sugar and booze substitute, and an effective tool in the fight against addiction. Here’s why.

Mommy’s Little No-Fapper

“Keep masturbating and you’ll go blind!”

“Stop jerking off — you’ll end up with hairy palms!”

It takes a certain kind of mom to scare her little boy into quitting the one thing that makes him happy in this crazy, mixed-up world. But for some young men of r/NoFap, the subreddit for guys hellbent on quitting the five-knuckle shuffle in an effort to lead a better life, there’s no more supportive an ally than dear ol’ mom.