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The Case for Clinging to Cable, The ‘Identity Shirt’ Trend and Veterinarians’ Anti-Vaxx Problem

Joke’s on us, you guys: We’ve tricked ourselves into thinking we don’t need cable. Netflix is great, but we’re forgetting about one of life’s greatest pleasures: channel surfing. It’s an activity that occupied much of my time growing up, and led me to discover Dog the Bounty Hunter, not to mention the rewatchability of Joe Dirt. These days, I’m way too stingy to spend $50 a month on a decent cable package, but damn, I wish I could — especially after reading Noel Murray’s case for being a cable clinger, as opposed to a cable cutter, or millennials’ “fuck you” to expensive cable plans du jour. So if you see me at a bar, don’t try to talk to me — I’m busy watching a local news segment about a frightened kitten rescued from the engine of an SUV.

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Why Is There a Viral Shirt for Every Type of Guy?
If a dude is wearing salmon-colored shorts and boat shoes, conventional wisdom might suggest they’re a fratty kind of guy. Lately, however, that same kind of cultural uniforming has begun expanding to include all kinds of apparel — and all types of guys. A long sleeve gingham button-down? Finance bro. Navy blue short sleeve button-up with some kind of white pattern on it? Young trans guy. We might expect men to dress pretty similarly, but it seems like style choices as simple as a basic shirt can be pinpointed to relatively broad identity types. Calvin Kasulke explores how — and why — this repeatedly happens. READ MORE

Do We Really Need a Nerf Tank Drone?

Nerf guns are undeniably fun. Attacking your friends with harmless little foam darts? Sign me the fuck up. In recent years, though, amid this country’s massive gun epidemic, Hasbro has made these children’s toys more and more extreme. But do kids really need fully automatic, 30-dart drums or indexing clips to have fun? Miles Klee documents the rise of the increasingly aggressive plastic toy guns.

Junkin’ the Mail

Congrats, Spectrum and Xfinity, yes, I see the mailers you send me every other day — your carpet-bombing campaign is working. And maybe you really are trying to offer me a sweet cable package deal. But honestly, I wouldn’t know, because I immediately throw that shit in the recycling bin. Junk mail is just plain rude. Here’s a guide to putting it to an end.

What To Do If Your Airbnb Sucks

So your Airbnb isn’t quite the “urban oasis” the listing made it out to be, that is, if you don’t count the black mold-covered shower as an “oasis.” Sure, you don’t need a AAA Four Diamond experience, but this is bad. What are you gonna do? We’ve got the best practices for handling a misleading Airbnb right here.

Dads At The Doctor’s Office

Paternal involvement in pregnancy can help reduce instances of infant death and improve the mother’s mental health. That said, many men don’t have a clue how to be properly involved in the pregnancy, and the OB/GYN office hasn’t always been the most welcoming place for them to learn. The good news: A recent study has shown that making the OB/GYN office seem more friendly by including photos of men and men’s magazines have increased their participation in prenatal care.

Protecting Your Porn

Thanks to smartphones, it seems like every couple has a homemade video of them doing the diagonal hokey-pokey. If you have kids, there’s always a fear that no matter how well hid that video is, somehow, your child is going to stumble upon it. We asked the experts — a sex educator, a former adult star and a guy who stumbled upon his parents’ “home movies” — how to avoid having your kid find your porn in the first place, and how to handle it if they do.

Vaccinate Your Dog! *Facepalm*

Vaccinating your pets might seem like a no-brainer. After all, rabies would almost certainly kill an unvaccinated dog if they became infected. There’s not even any weird autism argument against pet vaccination the way there is with kids. Still, somehow, the anti-vaxx agenda has crept into the veterinary space. Like unvaccinated humans, unvaccinated pets pose a serious risk not only to their own health, but to the health of the people around them. Quinn Myers spoke to veterinarians and vet techs about how vaccination misinformation has affected their practice.

Pop Quiz, Car Guy

Washing your car is as annoying as it is expensive. So why do people recommend you wash your car all the time?

A) A clean, shiny car will trick your boss into thinking you’re a Serious Guy, and thus, deserve a promotion.
B) There is no benefit — car washes are a conspiracy developed by the car wash industry to trick you into putting their kids through college.
C) More than just making your car look presentable, washing your whip will save you money in the long run.

If you guessed “C,” i.e., the only answer that sounds remotely correct, you’re the big winner. Jeff Gross explains why.

Trash Food for Trash People

Last Friday, this gang of misfits we call our editorial staff tried Lunchables’ latest creation, Brunchables. Surprisingly, ready-to-eat bacon and sausage on a room temp flatbread with the world’s saddest blueberry mini muffin doesn’t make for a great meal. However, if you’d like to “indulge your inner human garbage disposal,” you might enjoy it.

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