The Bonkers Origin Story of the ‘Jesus Is My Homeboy’ T-Shirt, Thirst for the Hot Costco Dad and Gold, Jerry, Gold

If all I had to do was go grocery shopping at Costco to appear more attractive, I would’ve picked up a membership (at the Gold Star Executive level, natch) years ago. I mean, Costco’s got everything: Metric feet of salmon, boxes of chimichangas, pallets of toilet paper, a fucking optometrist, free samples and now a 2-point bump on the hotness scale? Sign me up.

One thing though: Can they do something about their parking? Driving around for 15 minutes only to park a mile away is not hot.

Must Read

“I Created the ‘Jesus Is My Homeboy’ T-Shirt After Surviving Two Muggings in 10 Minutes”
The “Jesus Is My Homeboy” T-shirt is one of the most iconic tees of all time. At any point in the early 2000s, you might find anyone from Urban Outfitters kids to Ben Affleck sporting them. But the rise of this T-shirt was actually its resurgence; in truth, they originated with a man named Van Zan Frater, an actor and singer who moved to L.A.’s San Fernando Valley in 1980 from Oklahoma. The famous catchphrase and tee that followed was inspired by Frater’s own brush with death shortly after his arrival to the City of Angels. This is his unbelievably wild — and, according to Frater, incredibly true — story. READ MORE

Senior Singles

If you settled down in your 20s and 30s, then hit the dating scene again in your 60s or beyond, it’s fair to say things will have changed — perhaps unrecognizably. So what’s that like? Think salsa dancing and bonding over intestinal issues. We asked three guys aged 60-plus about finding true love (again) on the seniors dating circuit.

When A Juice Isn’t Worth the Squeeze

Not all juices are created equal; in fact, most juices are less fix-all tonics, and more sugar-overdose fructose bombs. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get down on a glass of the fruity stuff when the mood strikes you — you just need to know which juices are good for you, and which might send you into diabetic shock.

We <3 You, Sam Neill

Sam Neill, the dinosaur bones-loving, kid-hating paleontologist and voice of reason in 1993’s Jurassic Park, hasn’t exactly been living the life of an A-list celebrity in the last 25 years. And yet, Neill has cultivated quite the following across both Twitter and Instagram, thanks to some relentlessly wholesome content that never tips into saccharine territory.

And it’s Neill’s gentle, soothing presence on these typically terrible platforms that make him an anomaly. Miles Klee salutes the Northern Ireland-born, Kiwi-raised character actor with the hope that he never changes.

Ooh, Yeah, Replace That Mayo

The internet has a new daddy, and it’s Tom Musto, a 49-year-old single father in L.A. — aka Hot Costco Dad.

What’s so swoon-worthy about Musto, Tracy Moore writes, is not just that he’s “nice on the eyes.” It’s that Hot Costco Dad, as you can see from the video, doesn’t think he’s doing anything novel or heroic; it’s clearly his normal. And that, is the true key to his hotness.

Knocked Up

When it comes to being a man and receiving the news that your partner is pregnant, it’s — for obvious reasons — not nearly as complicated as it is for your baby mama. But it can still be a head-fuck. Here then, from unrestrained joy to the realization your partner cheated on you, is how best to handle every you’re-about-to-be-a-dad scenario.

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

There’s a place, deep within Reddit, where sweaty-palmed sexual deviants congregate and share unholy and perverted memes. A place whose entire being owes itself to 4chan. That place, my friends, is r/handholding. You read that right: Handholding.

And while it might be labeled “NSFW,” it’s hand-holding kinksters call what they do “high-brow social commentary.”

There’s Gold in Dem Dere Bunkers

Unless they’re filthy rich, Americans haven’t really thought about gold as a currency in more than a hundred years, back when gold was the currency. We’ve got paper money now: It’s simpler to store, exponentially lighter and way easier to roll up and blow lines with. Still, some folks can’t get gold out of their mind. Because while it might no longer be the commodity we’ve hitched our entire economy to, it’s still really important for a lot of reasons.

’Tis But a Scratch

Have you heard about the 71-year-old Scottish woman who, throughout her entire life, has never been able to feel pain or anxiety? Here’s a look at her now:

I kid the 71-year-old Scottish woman, mainly because I’m jealous — of the “no anxiety” part, not the “no pain” part. (I feel like pain is important.) Scientifically speaking, though, here’s what’s happening in her body that’s allowed her to live life as a real-life X-woman, even if she happens to be an unassuming one.

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Jeff Gross

Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.