9-12

The Assholes Who Celebrate the Day After 9/11, ‘Nice Guy’ Bootcamp and an Oral History of ‘Snake’ on Nokia

Happy September 12th, everybody! The day after 9/11 really is a great time to remember A United America. Sure, it’s only great if you’re not muslim — I think the peaceful followers of Islam might look back on that day a bit differently than the rest of us — or aren’t from New York and don’t know anyone who died when the Twin Towers came down, or weren’t terribly frightened by the idea that a faceless enemy could attack us at will, or weren’t in the Armed Forces knowing that you were probably going to get shipped off to war soon. If you weren’t any of those things, you must have felt proud to be an American.

Or maybe not.

Must Read

“My Weekend at ‘Nice Guy’ Bootcamp”
Are you too nice of a nice guy? Perhaps you need to go to a workshop for men hoping to become less nice. One such workshop, the 48-hour No More Mr. Nice Guy® Breaking Free Bootcamp, held on the outskirts of London, promises to help its attendees free themselves from the limits of their “Nice Guy” personas — assuming you can stomach the cutting insults and venomous rage of its participants. C. Brian Smith visited the boot camp — which aims to “cure” nice guys who suffer under the belief that being “good” will allow them to be loved, have their needs met and experience a problem-free life — in an effort to unleash his inner bad boy. READ MORE

Snakes on a Phone

Almost anyone of a certain age remembers Snake, the Nokia brick-phone game that was as ubiquitous as it was beloved. But few people know the story of how Snake was created — or have ever heard from the Finnish software engineer who created it and sparked a billion-dollar industry — until now.

Celebrating 9/12 is Bullshit

Today, many in the media bent themselves into pretzels waxing nostalgic for a better time, a more “united” time, a time right after the worst terrorist attack on this country in history:

Celebrating 9/12 has become the talking-head equivalent of kissing babies at a campaign rally: You do it because that’s what’s expected. But when you think about it, September 12th, 2001, wasn’t defined by unity — it was a time of trauma, amplified a thousandfold for citizens perceived as the enemy as well as all of those who lost loved ones in the attacks.

Love in an Axillary Place

The armpit — or to you anatomy nerds, the axilla — isn’t exactly the first place most of us think about when we think about the sexiest places on a person’s body: They’re often hairy, they’re often smelly, and yes, they’re often sweaty. But count rapper Cardi B as a fan of the arm crevasse:

Mmm… tasty business. And don’t think for one second that we’re kink-shaming the High Priestess of the Bronx — we’re doing the opposite. In fact, it’s time for this misunderstood fetish to emerge from the shadows.

Do Your Chores — Don’t You Want to Live Forever?!?!

Nobody cheats Death. But you might be able to keep it at bay if you vacuum the couch cushions and scrub your filthy bathtub.

Dealing with the In-Laws

There are many types of in-laws: The kind that asks too many favors, the kind who are all up in your business, the kind that are your polar opposites, etc. etc. And when they’re on their bullshit, each require their own unique strategy for how to deal with them.

Blue-Collar Ladies

Working with one’s hands has long been considered a male vocation, but there are plenty of women who’ve broken the blue-tinted glass and opted to get down and dirty in the trades, too. On r/BlueCollarWomen, female plumbers, cops, electricians, welders, construction workers, mechanics and more help each other navigate their male-dominated fields — and joke about how their toolbox is simply their “work purse.”

How Celebrity Fandoms Got Their Weird Names

Beyoncé’s BeyHive. Lady Gaga’s Little Monsters. Mariah Carey’s Lambs. Celebrity stan groups have some strange names, but how did they get them in the first place? Joe Longo investigates.