It’s starting to get hot out again. Which puts guys who have overactive sweat glands but who love to show off their fits in a very soggy bind. Do they wear their favorite long-sleeve shirt and jacket and sweat like they’re in a sauna? Or do they wear fewer clothes and look a bit basic since there isn’t much anyone can do to differentiate themselves in a T-shirt and shorts?
Redditor Vampa_the_Bandit, who “sweats a lot,” is all too familiar with this slippery conundrum. “Hotter weather is never fun if you care about fashion — all your favorite flannels, sweaters, jackets and boots get pushed to the back of the closet,” he writes on the Male Fashion Advice subreddit. “And forget layering — when the mercury creeps past 90, even a thong is suffocating.”
Part of the problem, he explains, is that “you see other guys wearing these really cool outfits that include jackets and pants during the summer, and think, ‘I would die in that.’ And stuff like tank tops and shorts can be divisive since, if you’re not careful, you can look really childish or fratty.”
Now, however, Vampa_the_Bandit says that after years of working through the four stages of summer sartorial grief, he’s finally reached the acceptance phase. As such, he’s put together an inspo album for his fellow (perspiring) man, focusing on both style and breathability. It’s replete with plenty of regular dudes in summertime fits, but also Matt Damon, Childish Gambino and Hawaii’s favorite P.I. — Thomas Magnum (aka Tom Selleck).
That said, despite Vampa_the_Bandit’s best intentions, some commenters were quick to joke that for a sweaty guy inspo album, there wasn’t nearly enough perspiration. “I was told this was the sweaty guy inspo album. What I found was largely sans sweat. Where’s that wrinkled linen shirt with the drenched pits? Where’s the butt cheek crease sweat marks? Gotta manage expectations, smh,” Quantius (gently) chided.
Other redditors, though, helpfully chimed in with their suggestions on how to sweat in style. Digdug04 wrote that along with camp collar lightweight shirts and shorts, he also likes “linen pants as a great option that still keeps me pretty cool despite being pants.”
Meanwhile, imapissonitdripdrip couldn’t help but evoke Magnum, P.I., too. “Since putting on a bunch of muscle weight from weightlifting, Magnum PI is my inspiration for summer this year,” he explained. “Lots of thigh, lots of chest. Lots of time on the lake.”
Outside of actual looks, however, Vampa_the_Bandit’s advice for the heavy sweater is pretty straightforward. “Wear deodorant, carry a handkerchief to keep your face dry and try wider fits since they allow more air circulation,” he recommends.
At the same time, he refuses to allow anyone to shame him for his literal drip, confidently (and realistically) concluding: “It’s hot, and you’re going to sweat. It’s only natural. Most people probably aren’t paying attention to your pit stains — so hey, don’t sweat it too much.”
Andrew Fiouzi
Andrew Fiouzi is a staff writer at MEL.
