I know it’s absolutely insane that I have to mention this, but flight attendants say it still happens so here I go: It is 100 percent NOT okay to store your small shit in the overhead bin when flying. There are rules! That means no jackets (unless you lay it flat on top of your carry-on, natch), no purses, no duty-free bags, and God help me, no backpacks. If I see one more JanSport sitting in the precious little space above my seat the airline has deemed fit to give me, I’m going to open an emergency door at altitude.
Don’t test me.
Must Read
“What It’s like to Be a Single Dad Living on Minimum Wage”
How do single dads make ends meet with a razor-thin margin for financial ruin? And more largely, what is life like when every last penny of your minimum-wage salary pretty much goes to the essentials (if you’re lucky enough for it to even stretch that far)? Quinn Myers talked to three dads who are barely scraping by to find out. READ MORE
Mark Zuckerberg’s Playing for Keeps
Anyone live-stream Mark Zuckerberg’s speech at Georgetown University today? Of course you didn’t. Maybe you should’ve, though, because it was a doozy. On the surface, it was a speech written to champion free expression. But really, it was about staying rich and powerful, even if it means aligning with the ideals of the authoritarian right — and hardening against the populist left — to do it.
Sex For Your Ears
Porn is cool and all, but have you ever gotten your rocks off listening to audio erotica? Men are starting to discover the growing industry for aural sex, which has helped them fall in love with jerking off all over again.
Send in the Clown
To think that Bill O’Reilly was “brought down” by the #MeToo movement is ridiculous. He’s got a website, a radio talk show, 3 million Twitter followers and according to reports, $25 million in severance from Fox News after he was given the boot for being a sexual predator. Sure, he could sit at home counting that blood money till the cows come home, and most of us would prefer to never hear from him again. But that’s not what O’Reilly wants to do at all. Nope, Bill O’Reilly is a clown, and he’s doing everything he can to claw his way back into the circus.
I’m back. Dems want to incarcerate drug company executives. But what about street heroin dealers? Not asked by the sleepy moderators.
— Bill O'Reilly (@BillOReilly) October 16, 2019
A Film Critic On… ‘Zombieland: Double Tap’
On, uh, what it is: “Double Tap takes us to the present, 10 years after nerdy Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), macho Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), sarcastic Wichita (Emma Stone) and her impish sister Little Rock (Abigail Breslin) first entered our lives as the zombie apocalypse was freshly unfolding. What’s changed since then? Basically, nothing.”
On, uh, what was good about the original ‘Zombieland’: “Amidst a sea of mega-serious blockbuster franchises, it thumbed its nose at all that pompousness and just had a blast being a nasty, R-rated lark.”
On, uh, what’s bad about the follow-up: “The sequel’s brain trust have worked tirelessly to produce a follow-up that does nothing but be nostalgic for the first film’s cultural moment — and then to remind us that it’s long gone.”
On, uh, franchises: “Zombieland: Double Tap is both literally and figuratively a zombie franchise — one that exists to remind us that the original was vaguely amusing back in 2009.”
For more of Tim Grierson’s, uh, review of Zombieland: Double Tap, click here — including Grierson’s thoughts about why the film’s zombie world has one significant leg up on our own; how long electricity would last in a zombie apocalypse; and the never-ending Twinkies references.
You Are Not You — You’re Me
Get ready for the big surprise: Doppelgängers aren’t just a pop-culture plot point — they’re real, and people run into their “twins” every day. Mike Rampton took a reflective look at doppelgängers, and why we’re so obsessed with strangers who look kinda sorta quite a lot alike.
I found my literal doppelgänger just now wtf pic.twitter.com/dphk7LodtJ
— santana (@santanaa_g) September 24, 2016
With Every Heartbeat
Is it important to keep track of your heartbeat when you’re working out, or are those heart-rate zone diagrams on cardio machines a big scam to get you to buy a fitness tracker? I spoke to a sports medicine specialist to find out why tracking your ticker helps you achieve your fitness goals.
Under Duress
What do people whose very job relies on their niceness have to say about staying pleasant at all costs? We asked a waiter, a flight attendant and a mall Santa about the little things they do to keep their cool when every fiber in their body wants to do the opposite.
Damn You, Evolution, Damn You!!!
Eating or drinking something that you know is bound to taste awful is bad enough. But when you don’t expect the flavor you’re about to savor, that’s when the “ick” factor shoots off the charts. Why do our brains react so dramatically when a taste is so unexpected? Per usual, blame evolution.
Poppers: Just Keep Poppin’
Jeff Gross
Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.
